Putting it Out There

I recently caught an episode of Ellen where the youtube sketch team from Australian, SketchShe got the chance to perform a live version of their viral video – a lipsync of Bohemian Rhapsody in a car. It was cute. But what caught my attention was a portion of Ellen’s interview with them where one of the girls mention that five years prior she had written in her journal, on her bucket list, that she wanted to be on the Ellen show.

Bucket lists became all the rage after Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman’s movie of the same name. But I think that it’s more than a passing fancy. There is something to writing down our wildest dreams and desires.

  1. It forces us to articulate what we want. One of the toughest questions we can be asked is, “What do you want?” It’s the question Jesus always asked those who approached him. He could see their heart, he knew. But they had to ask for it. Giving voice to what is inside of our hearts and minds helps to make them real. Through it we become vulnerable to what matters to us most.
  2. It helps us move into a new reality. I think that we often live in denial or in distraction of what we want the most. We pretend it doesn’t matter. We convince ourselves we can live without it. We don’t think its important enough. We decide others are more important. Our reasons may be noble, out of fear, survival or disappointment.
  3. Accomplishing or experiencing just one of our dreams is the gateway to a better life. It takes hope to belief which builds our faith in ourselves and in God. Proverbs says that a hope deferred makes the heart sick, but the tree of life is a longing fulfilled. Sometimes through life experience our hope died because it never materialized. There are some dreams we have to let go of and embrace something new.

    But often these dreams are just the beginning. They are the biggest we can see for ourselves in the moment but once we accomplish them it opens our world to something even greater. I think it is also a matter of getting in touch with our true selves. These desires represent our authentic selves. The person we dream of being. The types of experiences that will propel into the life we want. Now we can see why we have to get them out into the open.

Bill Johnson, senior leader at Bethel Redding says, “Words create worlds.” There is power in what we speak it out loud. At my church we call that declaring. We declare God’s word. We declare Scripture. We declare our promises. Because that is how we get it into and out of our hearts and into existence.When God created the world he declared. He said, “Let there be light.” We are made in his image. He gave us dominion over the earth. Jesus death gave us the keys to life. So we have the power of that resurrection inside of us, so what can’t we do?

What do we have to do? We have to make the decision to partner with what He wants to do in and through ourselves. Are we in alignment and agreement with who He says that we are? He celebrates us. He likes us. He wants us to become our authentic selves. I believe when we do, it’s an act of worship.

So it behooves us to be honest, first with ourselves. What do we want in our heart of hearts? Many times the answer is surprising. What if money were no object? What if everyone you loved was taken care of? What if you were all of the sudden enough, because HE is enough and we are completely loved?

It all starts with our relationship with God and knowing who we are in Him. He will illuminate to us how he sees us and who he created us to be. Then we can be in touch with our true hearts desire. To know Him is to know ourselves and our true hearts desires. He put them there. Of course he wants them to come to life.

So what do you want?

Start dreaming. Start writing. Start declaring.

Ready, Set, School

I have officially registered for three classes which start January 14th.

I am taking: career counseling, sex therapy, and individual and family development across the lifespan. Oh yeah.

Three classes means that I am full-time. Yikes. I also have three jobs to pay for this. I might be a little crazy, we’ll see how it works out.

I’m excited, nervous, ready, not-ready, worried. You know the usual. I can’t believe I’m doing this now, at 37 (almost 38). This will be a three year journey to a job I’ve waited a lifetime to do.

This seems to be a story of 3’s. We’ll see how it unfolds.


New Season

It’s November in Ohio. The trees have all lost their leaves. The sun is hiding more and more. The air is getting a bit of a bite. Soon there will be snow and the ground will go white. The change from the refreshing coolness and colorful beauty of the fall is tangible and causes a bit of fear. Will this be a tough winter? Are we ready for the change?

Like all good midwesterners, we take a deep breath and forge ahead. You can’t get around it, to get to spring you have to go through winter. There are lots of good things about winter though, warm fires, hot chocolate, ice skating, Christmas, snow days, snowmen. There is something about the change of seasons that lets you know time is moving forward. The world doesn’t stand still, even though you feel like it is sometimes.

A change of season means that you’re moving on. This is a new season of my life. The last four years have been long and challenging. It felt more like the winter of my discontent than anything. Yet, there were lots of good things that happened. I have come to love Ohio. I have amazing friends here. I have a church I love. I am about to step into a new season here.

As of January 2013 I will be going back to grad school, again. This time to finally do what I’ve been wanting to do since I was 16 years old, be a marriage and family therapist. The time is right. I’m excited, nervous, anxious and scared. Change is hard but exhilarating. I have no idea how I’m going to make it all work, but I’m ok with that. I know that God can figure out a way. Look at that, I have some faith and trust. See life does move forward and you are growing even when you can’t see it. Even when you don’t feel like you are.

I am also hoping that this new season means I’m going to be blogging more. I’ve missed it. I stopped in large part because I didn’t know what to say anymore. But I’m finding my voice again. This time its stronger. I believe in myself. I know what I’m able to do. I actually found some confidence. So nice. God is so good.

Change is also coming to this blog and I’m going to be rearranging things on the blog. So for those RSS fans sorry but old posts are going to be showing up in your feed, sorry in advance. I tried to disable the feed for a sec, but I can’t figure out how. So bear with me.

Thanks for being part of my journey.


My brother recently got me an iPhone, because he loves me and as a thank you for all the help with the children. I am so excited to have it. I am excited to abandon my perfectly functional yet “dumb” phone for this awesome, yet soon-to-be-outdated iPhone 4.

One of the best features of it is the ability to stay and be so connected to everyone. I can check-in places on yelp and Facebook. I can update my status and post photos. It is so fun. I love being able to carry my music everywhere. I am no longer embarrassed to use my phone.

I am also hoping it will help me blog more. I downloaded the wordpress app and am hoping It will help me not to feel obligated to write novels or wait for giant inspiration and instead be happy with small inspirations to share. We will see.

In the mean time I’m going to go download some more apps.

From a New Place

I started a new job recently.

I’m incredibly grateful for it. It’s been a bit since I’ve had a meaningful job. This job could really be something. Not only is it in my field (marketing) it’s working for an organization I whole-heartedly support. It’s awesome, but it’s also new. Newness scares me. New means unfamiliar. New means uncertainty. New means unknown expectations. This generally sends me into a frenzy of perfectionism wanting to know everything I can before I can move forward. I let it make me a micro-manager and doubt. Not a good space. Read the rest of this entry