I’ve been ferociously restless lately.
I don’t know if its the onset of my 30th birthday and all that entails – I’m still single, no family, no house, haven’t figured out what I want to be when I grow up. The break-up with my boyfriend or contemplating getting back together with him. Not knowing where I belong, should I stay here or move closer to my family. The doldrums of being smack in the middle of my grad school program. Or maybe that I am looking at all these things as the glass half empty.
Not sure what the root cause is. Maybe its everything all rolled into one giant malaise that I can’t seem to shake. All that to say that this morning I was reading the Singles’ Channel on Christianity Today.com as I procrastinated on my thrilling lug nut endeavors and came across a little article on dreaming. I’ve copied the paragrah that really grabbed my attention, see below. It made me wonder, have I procratinated on my dreams too. Is that why I’m so unsettled in my life. Maybe I just need more focus. But it made me feel little kid excited to think about the following things:
“One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever been given was to make three lists: things I want to have, things I want to do, and things I want to be. These lists are supposed to contain everything from the trivial to the over-the-top. For example, my “have” list contains such things as owning an antique armoire, achieving flat abs (that’s over-the-top for me!), and having a home where people always feel free to stop by and hang out. My “do” list includes taking a cooking class, setting my roommate up with a cool Christian guy, and reading through the entire Bible. My “be” list contains being debt-free, becoming a letter writer, and being comfortable sharing my faith.” – Camerin Courtney
So tell me what are your dreams? Things I want to have: A family of my own. Things I want to do: Go to Europe. Maybe clean my room. Things I want to be: More organized. Those don’t really seem that lofty or exciting.
What really is the dream of my heart – no idea.