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Too old for London

On one of my recent flights of fancy I decided to indulge my lifelong desire of moving to London.

I don’t know why I want to move to London, no real logical reason, I just do.

So I joined a yahoo group appropriately called, Moving to London. Helpful posts from others trying to move made mention of the Highly Skilled Migrant Programme (HSMP) visa, which allows you to move to London to look for worth without obtaining employment sponsorship. This is a much easier route, if you qualify on the 75 point system. Points are awarded based on: age, current salary, educational background, previous UK living experience, etc.

At the end of the very short questionnaire I learned that I only generated 65 points, what killed me? My age. That’s right, over 30 and you get no points at all. If I want to qualify I either need to start earning more money here or go get an MBA from one of the selected schools.

The thought of going back to grad school to get an MBA makes me tired. So it’s back to the drawing board on how I can move to London.

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Thoughts About Ohio

Here are my preliminary thoughts and feelings about moving back to Ohio.I was hoping that by going back to the motherland I would feel an overwhelming surge of emotions and answers. I thought that in a flash I would know it all. I know its silly to think that a you’ll just get a feeling and know. I was hoping that would happen so I could just make up my mind already. Instead, I’m a little more pensive and introspective about why I want to go and what that means for my life if I do.

I was able to see the city with new eyes. I hadn’t lived there since I was in the 5th grade, my perspective has changed a bit. For one everything seemed smaller 🙂 It is so different from Orange County and California in general. I mean its slower paced. The roads are smaller. People are friendlier. There is significantly less to do. Everyone owns a house, including teenagers. I mean the cost of real estate is so cheap it makes no sense to own a condo.

The pros and cons on both sides are significant.

I had a great time with my family I usually do. I breeze into town for a few days, have some laughs, and a few special meals later I’m back out. Could I handle being there everyday? My brother said I forgot what its like to be with my parents everyday? I get to see them with their visitor face on. Everyone, including me, is on their best behavior. We do all the big, fun things together. Would I be able to handle the monotony? He is the good child that stuck around and I am the prodigal wanting to go back. I am a novelty in Ohio to my family and other apparently. I even think I’m cuter there. I had guys talking to me all over the place, the supermarket, the airport … then gain maybe that is just friendliness I’m not used to in L.A.

In California I have zero family obligations. I come and go as I please. I haven’t lived near them for 10 years. I think i want to be on the family track – watch my nephews, bring my mom down out of the rafters, talk to my dad about ministry stuff. But daily? I know no one, what kind of life would I have? Most of the people my age are married and living in those inexpensive homes that abound with their 2.5 children. Being single is hard enough, single in the mid-west I think is a whole different type of experience.

I also realized that I can’t move back expecting to have the family I wanted in my childhood. I can’t expect them to suddenly know me, get me and totally understand why I do what I do. I would have to draw serious boundaries. I can’t be the people pleasing teenager I once was, adhering to their ideals of who I should be. But aha, therein lies an important thing – I need to be sure of who I am and what I want.

I have a feeling all of my restlessness will follow me to Ohio. I need to put old demons to rest and be settled in my own skin. Then I can be happy wherever I am.