One of the unexpected joys of being here in Ohio has been my re-acquaintance with baking and my introduction to chocolate and candy making. I love it. It brings me much joy. I love discovering new flavors. I enjoy learning new techniques. I am digging the beauty and science behind these delicious treats.
Who knew when my dad bought a chocolate factory that I would find a piece of me I forgot about and a new way to express my creativity.
In efforts to explore this new found passion I, of course, want to go to culinary school, become a pastry chef and comeback to start a new career. That’s how my brain works, be trained, become an expert, then attempt it. It’s all part of my firstborn, control freak nature.
However, I’m kind of already in the deep-end learning how to swim. Yet, I still want to take more classes to learn about the science of chocolatiering and candy-making. So much to know about chemistry, additives, flavors, preservatives, tempering, stages of boiling, oh my. But just the thought of it makes me little kid happy.
On the other hand, I am not happy in Ohio. I don’t fit in here. I miss my friends. I miss my small group. I miss my church. I miss the ocean. I miss the weather. I miss the life I used to live. I miss the independence. I miss …. the list is endless.
So how do I balance the two? I want to go back to CA. When I’m there I’m healthier in many ways – emotionally, spiritually, financially, physically. But that’s because I had a life, a job, friends, and therapy. LOL. Yet the one downside is, I don’t want to go back to an office. I don’t want a 9-5 job. I don’t want to go back to paper-pushing middle management.
UGH. So that is my dilemma. In Ohio I have the opportunity to pursue a new passion and still have a place to live. My nephews are also here. But in California I have a life. Difficult decisions.
I’m kind of on a time line with this because there are two classes I would like to take that start on Tuesday. Yea, you know. Nothing like the last minute.
Granted I know I could take the class later if I wanted to, but still. I want to make a decision in the next five minutes. I feel like I’ve been standing still for two years. Not really. But it feels like it.
Something to think about.