Candy-Coated Future?

One of the unexpected joys of being here in Ohio has been my re-acquaintance with baking and my introduction to chocolate and candy making. I love it. It brings me much joy. I love discovering new flavors. I enjoy learning new techniques. I am digging the beauty and science behind these delicious treats.

Who knew when my dad bought a chocolate factory that I would find a piece of me I forgot about and a new way to express my creativity.

In efforts to explore this new found passion I, of course, want to go to culinary school, become a pastry chef and comeback to start a new career. That’s how my brain works, be trained, become an expert, then attempt it. It’s all part of my firstborn, control freak nature.

However, I’m kind of already in the deep-end learning how to swim. Yet, I still want to take more classes to learn about the science of chocolatiering and candy-making. So much to know about chemistry, additives, flavors, preservatives, tempering, stages of boiling, oh my. But just the thought of it makes me little kid happy.

On the other hand, I am not happy in Ohio. I don’t fit in here. I miss my friends. I miss my small group. I miss my church. I miss the ocean. I miss the weather. I miss the life I used to live. I miss the independence. I miss …. the list is endless.

So how do I balance the two? I want to go back to CA. When I’m there I’m healthier in many ways – emotionally, spiritually, financially, physically. But that’s because I had a life, a job, friends, and therapy. LOL. Yet the one downside is, I don’t want to go back to an office. I don’t want a 9-5 job. I don’t want to go back to paper-pushing middle management.

UGH. So that is my dilemma. In Ohio I have the opportunity to pursue a new passion and still have a place to live. My nephews are also here. But in California I have a life. Difficult decisions.

I’m kind of on a time line with this because there are two classes I would like to take that start on Tuesday. Yea, you know. Nothing like the last minute.

Granted I know I could take the class later if I wanted to, but still. I want to make a decision in the next five minutes. I feel like I’ve been standing still for two years. Not really. But it feels like it.

Something to think about.


About Marti

After a year-long sabbatical in Southern California I am returning to Ohio to try and resume my life. Who knew you went home again to start living.

Posted on January 3, 2010, in About Me and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Perhaps it would help to think that California will always be there? You can take your classes and then reasses? There’s nothing saying you can’t take these classes and use what you learn in California, even if you can’t see how, just yet?

    This year I’m trying to pay attention to what shows up in my life and use those things as road signs to what I should be doing, where I should be going. Maybe these classes are a road sign for you?

    Sending good wishes as you work through your decision.

  2. Good thought Jeannine. My friend Erika reminded me recently about paying attention to small opportunities. How you never know where an unexpected opportunity will take you. I guess at this point I am weighing the costs of both decisions. I’m also wondering how much weight do you give the signs? All things to ponder. Thanks fo being part of the dialogue.

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