Musings on Church

Mikey, my 11 year-old nephew and I got into an interesting discussion about church yesterday. We were walking in to register Jordy for basketball camp and Mikey out of the blue tells me, “you know I’m not a very churchy person.”

I knew this. As a typical pastor’s kid he has been in church more than he’s been out. He’s heard all of the stories a million times. He knows the usual angles for sermons on all major holidays.

But anxious to hear his opinion, because Mikey always has an interesting point of view, I asked, “why not.”

“I think children’s church is dumb. The purpose of church should be to teach kids how to have a relationship with God and all they do is tell you all the same stories over and over. There is no application to my life. How am I supposed to know how to do this as an adult if they don’t teach me how now,” he said emphatically.

I had no answer for that.

I hated children’s church at his age. Like him I refused to go. But trying to be the good adult I rambled on something about how its good to make friends, yadda, yadda, yadda. Nothing convinced him or me about why he should be excited to go to church.

In the end I said it honored God for us to be apart of people who believed like we did and it was one form of worship. His reply was a very logical, “I’ll just find my own way to worship God.”

I had nothing to say to that. As an adult I still struggle with church. In California I had an amazing experience with a wonderful small group. It was the closest I’ve come to understanding the relevance of church in my life. Without it I just don’t see the point. I can volunteer with my favorite organizations. I can be with my friends anywhere. I can worship God in a million places.

Here in Ohio I have struggled to find a church that resonates with me as a single, 30something, career woman.  Because most people my age are married with kids aren’t that many single’s groups that reach out to my age group. I guess they figure I should be married by now.

The churches here in Canton are pretty conservative and traditional. I haven’t found one that makes me want to show up. I don’t really feel guilty about it, but I do miss the comraderie of my small group. I miss having friends in the same life stage as me. I miss my friends, but I don’t miss church per say.

So, I don’t know. I’m just rambling. All to say, I understand why Mikey doesn’t want to go to church.

Filed under: Spiritual Formation , church, mikey, nephew, purpose of church

Conversations with Mikey

While conversations with Jordy are random conversations with Mikey are usually direct, logical and rational.

I was asking him today how the new school year is going. He just started the gifted program so he moved from elementary to middle school, even though he’s only in the fifth grade. I thought he would talk about math or science, his two favorite subjects. Instead his face lit up and he said, “It’s great, there are lots of hot girls there.”

That is his favorite thing about the gifted program. That is so unMikey. Normally he waxes on ad nauseum about theories, complicated formulas or something he saw on the discovery channel, but now that he’s 10 perhaps the hormones are kicking in a bit. How funny. He then gave me a 10 minute rundown of what he likes in a girl – not much makeup, no big earrings, no taller than him, tan-colored skin, dark hair and eyes. I’m thinking his taste still resembles his mom. So he’s getting older and yet he’s not.

Filed under: Mi Familia , gifted program, nephew, pre-teen

Happy 10th Birthday Mikey

Today my beautiful, first-born, nephew turns 10.

It is amazing to watch him grow, discover, explore and learn. He is inquisitive and curious. At the end of this school year (4th grade) he was accepted to the gifted arts program for the 5th grade. That means he will be in middle school a year early to participate. What he’s excited about is the long ago promise his dad that to provide a cell phone once he hit middle school. He’s thrilled.

One thing I’m amazed at with him is what a tender, sweet soul he is. I always feel overwhelmingly loved when he comes to cuddle with me. It isn’t every time I see him. He’s way to cool for that. It happens in completely random moments and oh so great when it does.

A relationship with Mikey is a fulfilling one. He is learning how to give and receive. One of my favorite things about him is his imagination. He is constantly inventing things to make life easier. Once he gets to know you and your needs he will start to look for things that will solve those needs. He knows my dad and I are diabetic. So one day he watched a 60 minute infomercial on these new glucometers that draw less blood and provide reports you can download to your computer. After watching all of it he wrote down the phone number and web site and gave it to me to investigate.

He is a wonderful young man, no longer a boy, he informed us today. He’s leaving next Sunday for church camp, his first week away from home. It’s already starting – the pulling away from family. Soon his cries of – come be with me – will change to – get away from me. I can’t bear the thought. I want him to stay little FOREVER.

It’s amazing how much I love and worry about him. I worry about a 10 year old in middle school. I worry about the influence of 8th graders on him. I worry he’ll be exposed to things beyond his maturity level. And I’m just the aunt, I can’t imagine being a mother. I’d never go to sleep. I think of way to many worse case scenarios.

Instead I pray that the foundation he’s been given of love, security, and strength will withstand all of the new things thrown at him. I pray for courage, wisdom, and joy. I pray that he learn how to dream big dreams and always have confidence that he’s capable of achieving them.

Filed under: Mi Familia , birthday, nephew