No I don’t have some weird skin condition. Instead I am still on Pacific Standard Time in a very EST (Eastern Standard Time) world. I was in CA just long enough to get three hours behind. Now its 1:36 in the morning and I’m wide-awake. Three hours is just long enough to be ridiculously off schedule for no real good reason. I mean I didn’t go to China or New Zealand.
So now I’m up. Watching re-runs of Little People Big World. I love that show. I am also attempting to catch up on emails, organize photos and convince myself I’m tired and should go lay down. But I don’t really want to. UGH!
I feel like I’m in a weird lala land. I miss California tremendously, or more precisely I miss my friends. Coming back to Ohio is always a shock to the system. I’ve decided that I need to more deliberately engage in life here in the big city. I’m going to attempt to look for a church and volunteer somewhere.
I’m also in a bit of a panic because the tags on my car expire this month. I’m not worried about the renewal fee or anything silly like that, but because with the simple thing my life in California will be officially over. I will have to hand over the two things that tangibly tie me to my former life – my California license plates and my California driver’s license. I am so proud of those two things. I love them. I like seeing them when in the parking lot or a store. It somehow reminds me of who I was.
They almost make me feel snobby. It is how I keep myself separate from Ohio, not that there is anything wrong with it, but still. I like letting people know that I’m not from here, I’m just passing through. But am I? I have no idea. And the odd thing is I am kind of from here. I lived a lot of my life before the age of 12 in the great Buckeye State. Maybe I need to reconnect with a different part of myself. I know I’m being ridiculous. It took me years to feel at home in CA. I used to reject the notion of being there too.
I think I am just resistant to change. I need to learn a more healthy way to let go and move on.
Filed under: Living in Ohio, Travelling , adjustment, California, jet lag, letting go, moving on, Ohio, transition
Ooh that title rhymes. I like it. The title that is, not the inch of snow that fell this afternoon. UGH! It never stops.
Aaaahh reality, it really is a bitch sometimes.
After all of the frenetic activity in CA my heart was pumping, the vitamin D from the sun perked up my mood – it was like being on speed, I think. Now in Ohio I can feel everything slow down again. I didn’t get up today until noon. Since I did nothing I wasn’t hungry. But for dinner we had a stew that further slowed the heart and blood flow. I am slowly slipping back into hibernation. I’m cold. Everyone around me has a raging virus that comes back three, four and five times. I want to curl up under a blanket of vitamin C and come out in the spring.
I think I’m a little depressed. I don’t quite know what to do with myself again. I don’t quite feel like me here. I forgot who I was for a while. Going back to CA reminded me that I used to be active, adventurous, engaged, and busy. I have great friends there. I have lots to do there. Maybe I’m not adjusting as well as I thought.
I missed my family while I was gone. Is it possible to be lonely in both places? There I miss my family. Here I miss my friends. I just don’t feel a real sense of belonging anywhere right now. I wish I had roots somewhere. I felt odd the first day back in CA maybe the first couple of days back here will be rough too.
This too shall pass.
Filed under: Living in Ohio , adjustment, California, Ohio, snow, sun
It dawned on me the other day that I have officially been an Ohio resident for a month now. I can honestly say it has gone by very fast. I don’t know what I expected, but its been good.
It’s been awesome to reconnect to my family. I like having them around and I think they like having me here too.
It’s been cold. There’s been lots of snow and ice. I’ve played a lot of Guitar Hero. I unfortunately don’t have much more to say about it.
It has taken me a while to wind down from the whirlwind that was December and January. I still have no clue what I’m going to do next.
I guess its just one day at a time. To celebrate my monthaversary I’m going back to California for a week. LOL. I can’t wait to be warm.
Filed under: About Me, Living in Ohio, Mi Familia , adjustment, Ohio
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