Another lesson I’ve learned about kids is that while somedays are hard and you wish you could disown them, other days are full of joy and fun. It’s always a mixed bag.
Nothing is ever all good or all bad, it’s a balance of both.
We’ve had much better days the past week or so. My aunt and two of her kids came to visit from Indiana and we toured the fine cites of the local community. Good times.
Onward and upward for another week.
Ok, I’ve realized that the biggest downside to parenting is the monotony. Your life is pretty much the same week in and week out - down to the arguments. I could script out the daily battles I have with my nephews - the first is over what kind of cereal to eat, the second is who will go first in the shower, then who is touching who in the car and another favorite is who controls the tv. Everyday. It’s the same. There isn’t a day that goes by that they don’t fight about these things - and more.
Today we entered a new level of arguing, fighting, irritation, fear and ridiculousness.
On the way home from swim class they were fighting over who was touching who and I had enough. I declared a “no talking” zone. So they decided to make noise with everything else in the car - door locks, window buttons and kicking the back of the chair. No amount of talking, reasoning or yelling would get them to settle down or more importantly SHUT UP.
Well in Jordy’s attempt to make noise with the door handle he actually opened the door. That’s right, going down the freeway at 65 mph Jordy opened the car door. I could feel the wind coming into the car.
My heart sank but it didn’t even phase him. He actually thought it was funny. So did his brother. I wanted to pull over the car and beat him senseless. He didn’t get how dangerous this was. I will admit there was severe yelling in the car.
Once we got home, they resumed their usual fight about who was going to shower first - even though I set up a schedule and it is clearly marked on the freakin’ calendar.
Now it’s the lunch battle. Who has more and who can eat the fastest are the flavor of the day. But then they really start to get into it. Someone is again touching someone else and it escalates to Mikey spitting a mouth full of food into Jordy’s hair and Jordy dumping juice all over Mikey.
I don’t even know what to do. They aren’t my kids. They don’t listen to me. So they had to eat in separate areas and then they spent about 40 minutes alone in their rooms. I just needed a break. I needed silence. I needed a valium and a drink.
I think anyone who is under the delusion that they want children should spend two weeks with actual children. It’s the warm fuzzy desire to give love and nurture that next generation that causes rational people to procreate. Because children will suck every last piece of life from your body. They will remove your ability to speak intelligently and you’re reduced to stuttering and general confusion. They will drive you to want to bang your head on the wall repeatedly until you are rendered unconscious.
I love my nephews. I really do. But I liked it better when I was just the fun aunt who swooped in with presents and a good time. I’m tired. I am bone weary tired and I need a break from them. I never thought I would say that, but I do.
I take my role as aunt very seriously. I firmly believe that it is my responsibility and duty to make sure they are educated well on all things of life.
So last Friday I decided that since Mikey is 10, it is time for him to see Princess Bride. His father was 10 when it was realized in theatres so it has come full circle.
So we sat down as a family and watched it. He liked it, I think.
His favorite part was, “Hello My Name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die.”
Jordy lasted about five minutes. He wandered off somewhere to do something.
I am on week four of my summer nanny duties with my nephews. I think the novelty and loveliness of it all has officially worn off.
My nephews tried every last nerve today. They were bored, tired, irritated and irritating. They were sitting too close, too far away, touching too much and breathing too much of the same air - all at once. At one point on the ride home from swimming lessons I actually flung my arm in the backseat to see what I could grab to get their attention so they would shut up. I think I got a leg, which of course started a new round of arguing of whose leg I should squeeze but each was convinced his brother was really the culprit.
Jordy is pretty easy to take care of. He’s hyper, but at 7 he just wants you to spend time with him. Mikey, at 10, is adopting to his pre-teen ways a little early. He has all the answers. You can’t tell him anything and he doesn’t listen AT ALL. There are moments of fun, sanity and cuteness with him but they are getting fewer and further between the moments where I just want smack him.
The hard part about all of this is that I have no authority. My brother is still in the house, albeit sleeping, so they want to run in there everytime they disagree with me. Today Mikey actually called his mother at work because he wanted his own way. The sad part is, his mom gave into him. UGH!
It has never been established that I’m actually in control and they actually have to listen to me. I’ve tried to bring this up to my brother but he doesn’t get it. He just says I’m getting a taste of parenting. So I wind up just feeling like a glorified maid to make sure that they’re getting fed and don’t hurt themselves. If this is parenting let me stock up now on condoms and the pill. At least with my own kids I get to set the rules.
Tomorrow is a new day. My hope and prayer is that then there will be more moments of cuteness than moments where I want to roll under a moving vehicle out of frustration.
The adventure for today was the Akron Zoo.
Mikey, my dad and I went up to Akron for a special exhibit on Jellyfish. I took Jordy last week while Mikey was at camp, so I have to take Mikey this week while Jordy is at camp. Apparently that is how it works. So off we went.
The Akron Zoo is an ok zoo, as far as I can tell. I am by no means a zoo expert. I think I’ve only been to three: Disney’s Wild Animal Kingdom, the Cinncinati Zoo (when I was 10) and now the Akron Zoo. An animal lover I am not.
The zoo isn’t that big and there isn’t a huge variety of animals, but its something to do. It is clean. The zookeepers are friendly and knowledgeable. We saw a lion, tiger, lemur, penguins, bats, red panda, birds, etc. It was good.
Mikey’s favorite animals were the bats. He also enjoyed learning that the lemurs have reddish poop.
I think for me I enjoyed watching Mikey be a kid. He was so giddy with the animals, so was my dad really. Amazing how animals are an equalizer. It was sad for me to see the wounded Eagles. There were two at the zoo by special permit. They only have one wing. Maybe these wounded symbols of our nation are a metaphor for our current state. You never know.
It was a good day.
Since my brother, father and five other pastors left their church they’ve all had to go out and find other employment. Many of them are taking a break from the ministry to see where God leads.
My brother took a job at the post office. Since his wife works first shift he opted for third so that someone would be home with the kiddos at all times. But since its summer and they’re home all day I come over during the day to help take care of them - mainly just to make sure no one burns anything down.
Since they’re 7 and 10 they entertain themselves. I work a couple of hours on my freelance projects and we spend the rest of the time playing Wii, PS2, beach baseball in the backyard, cards, and board games.
Mikey is at camp this week. His first time away from home and he still went even though his friends bailed at the last minute. He didn’t know anyone that was going to be there. I’m so proud of him for sticking it out. I would have cancelled. But he’s a braver soul than I.
So Jordy and I are doing lots of fun things together. Yesterday we went to the zoo. He was hilarious. We call him our shiny boy since everything shiny attracts his attention. He was bouncing all over the place. He wore me out. But we saw lemurs, penguins, tigers, lions, bats, jellyfish and bears. He was most fascinated by the disco ball at the entrance to the jellyfish. He stood there for 10 minutes just twirling around. It was funny. We were both exhausted at the end of the day.
Finally, some purpose as to why I’m in Ohio. I get six hours of uninterrupted time with my nephews. What’s not to love? They are deliciously exhausting. I just love to talk to them. You never know what they’re going to say. Sometimes I’m surprised by what comes out of their mouth. It can be rather profound and observant.
Today I’m going to get them signed up for swim lessons and then Jordy and I are off to rent a new game for the Wii. It will probably be Guitar Hero.
In the past week my nephews have spent countless hours playing their new Wii. But the part Mikey has loved most is setting up his Mii’s. He has created a village of people to play including God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Slightly sacreligious but quite funny. Jesus plays great baseball. God like bowling and the Holy Spirit is a humdinger in tennis. Who knew.
Today my beautiful, first-born, nephew turns 10.
It is amazing to watch him grow, discover, explore and learn. He is inquisitive and curious. At the end of this school year (4th grade) he was accepted to the gifted arts program for the 5th grade. That means he will be in middle school a year early to participate. What he’s excited about is the long ago promise his dad that to provide a cell phone once he hit middle school. He’s thrilled.
One thing I’m amazed at with him is what a tender, sweet soul he is. I always feel overwhelmingly loved when he comes to cuddle with me. It isn’t every time I see him. He’s way to cool for that. It happens in completely random moments and oh so great when it does.
A relationship with Mikey is a fulfilling one. He is learning how to give and receive. One of my favorite things about him is his imagination. He is constantly inventing things to make life easier. Once he gets to know you and your needs he will start to look for things that will solve those needs. He knows my dad and I are diabetic. So one day he watched a 60 minute infomercial on these new glucometers that draw less blood and provide reports you can download to your computer. After watching all of it he wrote down the phone number and web site and gave it to me to investigate.
He is a wonderful young man, no longer a boy, he informed us today. He’s leaving next Sunday for church camp, his first week away from home. It’s already starting - the pulling away from family. Soon his cries of - come be with me - will change to - get away from me. I can’t bear the thought. I want him to stay little FOREVER.
It’s amazing how much I love and worry about him. I worry about a 10 year old in middle school. I worry about the influence of 8th graders on him. I worry he’ll be exposed to things beyond his maturity level. And I’m just the aunt, I can’t imagine being a mother. I’d never go to sleep. I think of way to many worse case scenarios.
Instead I pray that the foundation he’s been given of love, security, and strength will withstand all of the new things thrown at him. I pray for courage, wisdom, and joy. I pray that he learn how to dream big dreams and always have confidence that he’s capable of achieving them.
This Friday my nephew Mikey turns 10. What the heck?! That is so hard to believe, but I say that every year so I’ll quietly bemoan the fact that he is growing up.
All he wants this year is a Wii. Well that’s the biggest thing he wants. He also wants a skateboard, x-box games, party at laser quest and a trip to Camp Gideon. But that is besides the point.
Wii mania is relatively new to this area. I remember two Christmas’ ago when there were none in CA there were tons in the stores here. But now that Mikey wants one there are none to be found. Mike heard that Toys R Us was getting a shipment last night but you had to get in line at the store to get a ticket to buy one.
Mike had to be at church this morning so it fell to me to get in line. I arrived at 8:15 a.m. (they opened at 10 a.m.) and got my number. I was #2 in line and was in and out of the store in about 3 minutes. Compared to a lot of black Friday shopping waiting 1 hour and 45 minutes not bad. At least it wasn’t the heat of the day.
All that matters is that Mikey got his Wii.
I used to shake my head in disgust at those parents you hear about on the news that would punch other parents at their kid’s sporting events. My disdain also extended to the ones that screamed a bit too much, yelled louder than the coach and took every game a little too seriously.
Well this spring was my first foray into children’s sporting events. Both Mikey and Jordy played soccer every Saturday morning. I don’t generally like soccer, but I love my nephews so there I was cheering them on every week. The first couple of weeks I just cheered for them. The next couple of weeks as I began to learn the game I was cheering for their team. Today at the last game I was ready to coach. I still don’t know much about the rules of the game but I was convinced I could do a better job than the guy who put in the scrawny kid, who is afraid of the ball, as goalie? He lost the game for us. We were ahead 4-1 and the game ended tied 4-4. After two years of undefeated seasons we ended this season with a tie. It’s just tragic.
I have to admit I was getting excited about this game of 10-year olds playing soccer. I didn’t realize I was so competitive. I’m not one to engage in sporting activities, not really my thing. But I’m beginning to realize its probably a good thing, I get way to into it.
Watching Jordy play is a good way to balance out the feelings that surface watching Mikey play. On Jordy’s team there is no expectation. While out in the middle of the field he forgets he’s playing soccer and just starts dancing. He’ll talk to other players. He’ll pick his nose. While playing goalie he’ll decide to climb the net or see what he can see through his shirt that he put up over his head. It’s also hilarious to watch them warm up. The coach is trying to stretch their little muscles and every time they bend a leg behind them to stretch their quad muscle one or more of them falls over. You hate to laugh but you just gotta.
This season Jordy’s team won two games, which was quite the accomplishment since it was the only times they’ve won in two years. Yea. Progress.
Next year I’ll be ready for the pressure and expectation and be more level-headed. Although it might be hard since Mikey is switching to a travel team. He got tired of playing in the parks and rec division because he said everyone gets a trophy and no one is a real winner. LOL. So there ya go. We’ll see how deep his love for soccer really is next year.
LA LA Land
