Updating my Wineskins July 14, 2008

Last week in church we talked about the importance of becoming new wineskins. Then I heard a conference session from Marcos Witt on how to prevent staleness in our lives as we create situations and circumstances (wineskins) to grow and change.

Now I’ve heard the wineskin parable a million times but never really applied it to my life in this way. So, honestly what does that mean? What is a wineskin? I’ve been wine tasting enough to see wine in barrells but never in a skin of anysort. So the idea of not putting new wine in an old wineskin doesn’t really resonate with me.

As I grapple with this I’d i’ve realize that the idea of a wineskin is about constructs, skemas, ideas, traditions, religion, perhaps even a location, church, friends, or other relationship. We get new wine as we begin to change. It is a fresh understanding, healing, wholeness that comes as we grow and learn. This new information doesn’t fit into the existing structures we’ve created in our minds and hearts.

For me living in California was a wineskin. It was familiar, safe, comfortable and to some extent easy. There was a routine and rhythm to my life that was good, it worked. Yet I could float through life a bit. I wasn’t really challenged. I was only pushed when I allowed it. I was well-defined there. I had a job, a role to play, friends, and history.

Now here I have no context for anything, including me. Everything here is so different - how they talk, the foods they eat, even how they drive. Aaahh, so our wineskins are part of our identity, they define our worlds. It’s the structure on which we hang other information.

Yet in our comfort we can become legalistic, ritualistic and too tied to tradition. I had a very well defined way that I lived and related to others. I met everyone with a filter sarcasm and cynicism including God. To stay fresh in our lives we need to let ourselves be stretched, pulled out of our comfort zones to force us to engage in a new way, with a new perspective. Ooh I’d say that is where I am living these days.

To become new wineskins is to stay close to the heart of God, Witt says, because He changes his methods to capture our hearts. While his nature is unchanging Christ shed his divinity to be human so we could be restored (Phil 2). So how he relates to us changes on how he needs to get our attention. Being in a rut and tied to our existing way of doing things will render us ineffective in reaching out to others in service, in being flexible to learn and I would think in applying grace to ourselves and others.

In the end, the freshness of our wineskins is tied to our sense of wonder. Are we able to worship God with wonder and innocence of a child. Are we intrigued by the small things or are we bitter and cynical? I can confess am cynical. I grew stale. I doubted everything and could see the negative in everything. I constantly waited for the other shoe. Some of this was for survival. Some of this is from experience. Some of this is out of fear. I have to learn to trust God enough to let the wonder back into my life. I have to learn how to let go and let things be unplanned and out of my control. That is the biggest fallacy. We are never in control of anything and its our desperate grasp to try and control it that ends up in frustration and resentment because its impossible.

So life is really all about how we deal with change. Do we become stale in our existance, floating through life letting it go by as we stay safe in our same ole, same ole? Or do we let ourselves become agents of change as we become more authentic, transparents and pliable for whatever it is that God wants to do through us.

That is where I am? I still have parts of my heart that need to be broken. I still need to be molded, changed. There are still parts of me that are unconverted. I am saved, which happens in an instant but conversion take a life time. I struggle with unbelief sometimes. There are aspects of becoming Christlike that I rebel against and just don’t like. I was talking with a friend a while back and we were talking about discipleship and how hard it was to let go of some of our “flesh.” Discipleship is painful.

Anyway, I digress. I am just thinking outloud here. I am still struggling with life here. I know for a fact that I needed to move. But I thought that once I did some magical, mystical path would open before and I would suggently realize what I wanted to be when I grew up. Instead I’m in Ohio, still lost, completely outside of my comfort zone and freaked out.

I wonder what’s wrong with me? Why haven’t I found this yellow, brick road? It doesn’t stick with me that all God cares about is the relationship. He just wants me to be close. I don’t know how to do that. I don’t know how to trust him. I have trouble reckoning in my brain that freaked out and still lost is exactly where he wants me right now. That’s when I lean into him.

This seems to be a lesson I’m not getting because everytime I take a step I wait for the a-ha moment where it all makes sense. Maybe my a-ha moment won’t come for a while or ever. Not sure. But the goal has to be the same - an intimate relationship with God. I don’t do vulnerable very well. I have touble letting people in, even an omniscient, all-powerful God. I guess that’s the wineskin that needs most updating.

Stan Hywet Hall July 3, 2008

Stan Hywet, originally uploaded by greenbeangirl74.

Today Mikey and I braved the rain for our final adventure of the week and headed north to Akron to visit Stan Hywet Hall. We had a blast inspite of the weather.

The estate built in 1914 for the Sieberling family, founders of Goodyear Tire and Rubber. It has a grand entrance with a large lane and massive meadows. It was landscaped to be like an English country estate. At the entrance there is also a treehouse, as part of a Great Garden Adventure added for the kids. I stopped at the treehouse and said, “OK Mikey we’re here, get out.” He looked at the treehouse, looked at me and said, “You drug me all the way here for this? Seriously.” I had to laugh. It was awesome. Once he saw the real house, the grounds and the conservatory he was excited and forgave me for “dragging him” all the way (20 minutes) to Akron.

We had so much fun trapsing through the gardens in the rain. There are great walking trails, allees, vistas and history in this estate. It is worth a visit if you’re ever in merry ole Akron.

Visiting the Akron Zoo July 2, 2008

Mikey and Pops as Penguins, originally uploaded by greenbeangirl74.

The adventure for today was the Akron Zoo.

Mikey, my dad and I went up to Akron for a special exhibit on Jellyfish. I took Jordy last week while Mikey was at camp, so I have to take Mikey this week while Jordy is at camp. Apparently that is how it works. So off we went.

The Akron Zoo is an ok zoo, as far as I can tell. I am by no means a zoo expert. I think I’ve only been to three: Disney’s Wild Animal Kingdom, the Cinncinati Zoo (when I was 10) and now the Akron Zoo. An animal lover I am not.

The zoo isn’t that big and there isn’t a huge variety of animals, but its something to do. It is clean. The zookeepers are friendly and knowledgeable. We saw a lion, tiger, lemur, penguins, bats, red panda, birds, etc. It was good.

Mikey’s favorite animals were the bats. He also enjoyed learning that the lemurs have reddish poop.

I think for me I enjoyed watching Mikey be a kid. He was so giddy with the animals, so was my dad really. Amazing how animals are an equalizer. It was sad for me to see the wounded Eagles. There were two at the zoo by special permit. They only have one wing. Maybe these wounded symbols of our nation are a metaphor for our current state. You never know.

It was a good day.

Trip to Glamorgan Castle July 1, 2008

Glamorgan Castle, originally uploaded by greenbeangirl74.

While Jordy is at camp this week Mikey and I will go forth to have some adventures of our own. On the itinerary today is a trip to Glamorgan Castle in Alliance, OH.

50 acres of land was purchased by Col. William Henry Morgan, owner of Morgan Engineering Co. He hired architect Willard Hirsh to draw up plans for his castle. He even sent him to Europe to study, so it would be authentic. However, the family did have an indoor swimming pool, bowling alley and billiard room.

It was named Glamorgan Castle after his father’s birthplace in Wale. Construction began in 1904. The family moved in in 1907. It wasn’t done until 1909 and cost $400,000. After Col. Morgan’s death his widow sold all the land and house for oly $25,000.

After changing hands several times the castle is now home to the Alliance City School District. Armed with a $700,000+ restoration grant they have made the castle their offices.

However you can still see the splendor, craftmanship and detail in the castle. The receving room, dining room, solarium and entry way all contain period furniture and look as it did when the family lived there. I wish they would have left one of the bedrooms dressed. There are many rooms closed off - like the swimming pool and bowling alley.

Still worth a visit. If nothing else to help preserve a piece of history. During our self-guided tour we were free to wander around the entire castle, all three floors. It was fun. In the servants quarters on the 3rd floor and in the basement Mikey freaked himself out convinced that there were ghosts.

Self-guided tours are offered Mon-Friday after 2 p.m. for $2 for adults and $1 for children. 200 Glamorgan St., Alliance, OH.

Riverfront Irish Festival in Akron June 15, 2008

DSC00213, originally uploaded by greenbeangirl74.

On Saturday we went to the Riverfront Irish Festival, in Akron, which boasts is the largest free Irish Festival in the midwest. Ok. Not sure that particular claim to fame is what drove us there but it was a nice perk.

A couple of years ago I went to an Irish Festival in Irvine, Ca that had sheephearing, celtic games, Irish food, clothes and plays. It was a lot of fun. They played to the history, tradition and Irish culture.

The Riverfront Irish festival, presented by the St. Brendan Division Of the Ancient Order of
Hibernians was a middle-aged drunk fest. It played to the Irish stereotype. Everyone had a guiness and the band on stage was playing Neil Diamond. Not sure if he’s Irish but the over 40 crowd ranted and raved like it was 1974 all over again belting out Sweet Caroline. It was excellent people watching.

The one highlight was a band called Rathkelthair. It was a rock band centered around a bag pipe. This band actually had someone from Ireland in it (the drummer.). But the star was the bagpipe player, Neil Anderson, who just returned from active duty in Iraq. He played at least five different instruments and two of the flutes at once. It was incredible.

After their set we decided to leave. The drunk boomers and families left and the drunk college frat boys were rolling in. It was a good time to jet.

Still a fun night. We sampled some fine Irish cuisine, heard a rockin’ bag pipe and found our families coat of arms.

Important Lawn Care Lessons June 4, 2008

In California people care about cars, in Ohio it’s all about your lawn. People spends hours a day weeding, mowing, manicuring, mulching, fertilizing and protecting their lawns from vermin. The song of summer is the hum of the lawn mower. Because most houses sit on at least a 1/2 acre of land it’s a constant, never-ending, larger-than-life job.

Since my dad’s back surgery in January mom and I have taken over lawn care duties in our home. I’ve learned that watching grass grow isn’t a slow process. Instead after a good rain your grass can grow inches overnight. I kid you not. If we get rain several times a week it can require multiple mows per week. Your neighbors give you dirty looks if you don’t. I’m sure there are meetings about it on how to shame you into mowing more often to maintain a proper neighborhood appearance. In fact there was an article in the paper this week about how not mowing your grass could get you sent to jail. This is serious business we’re talking about.

The type of mower you have is also a source of familial pride. There are some seriously fancy riders out there. Just as a giant monster struck is a sign of manhood so is the size of your mower deck. I have actually heard men discussing their varies sizes and how it performs on various surfaces and kinds of grass. [Insert Tim Allen man grunt here.]

Your rider also helps you craft the perfect lawn pattern. That’s right the pattern carved into the lawn is almost as important as the mow itself. Maybe at these meeting neighborhood patterns are discussed to ensure compliance. There is the traditional straight-line mow, the basket-weaving criss-cross pattern, or a diagonal approach. Our neighbor up the hill varies his just to keep it interesting. I wonder if they offer classes or perhaps there is a youtube tutorial.

However, the lesson I learned today was less about status, image or keeping up with the Joneses. It was about the importance of proper disposal of grass clippings. We got a late start last night on the lawn and it got dark before we could take the grass clippings to the place where grass clippings go. I have yet to make this journey but after today I realize it is an urgent necessity to know where. After a day of rain our bags of grass clippings have filled our driveway, garage and family room with the wafting aroma of spoiled milk. Yes, mountains of grass clippings stink to high heaven. Everytime I go to watch tv I gag. It is not a good thing.

Lisa’s Ohio Adventure May 8, 2008

My friend Lisa, from CA, braved the midwest frontier and ventured forth to visit me this week. She was here for five glorious days. We had a great time and we even managed to fill three whole days with things to do. LOL, who knew there was so much to entertain us in Ohio. There are even things we didn’t get to, I was shocked.

Since this was really my first foray into Ohio tourist activities we went to Borders to see if there was a travel book or other tourist info for the area, we found nothing. But after scouring the internet we found interesting sites beyond the Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame and Football Hall of Fame, including culinary delights. I think we pretty much ate our way through the state. That is the great Ohio activity.

We ended her first day in Ohio with a trip to the $1 Theatre to see The Bucket List, which was surprisingly boring. I thought for sure with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson it would be good, but not so much. The best part was the final 15 minutes. Very disappointing.

Our culinary highlight of the day was a trip to Quaker Steak & Lube for the best wings on the planet. We tried four different sauces: Premium Garlic, Thai-R-Tracker, Asian Sesame and Louisiana Licker. We did not go for the atomic sauce you need to sign a waiver to try.

Our culinary highlight of day 2 came early, a breakfast at Cracker Barrel. The pancakes are a must have with real maple syrup. Our next stop was in Akron to visit Stan Hywet Hall, the former home of the Sieberlings (founder of Goodyear Tire & Rubber Company). It was spectacular. The home and grounds, built to resemble an English country estate, were amazing and beautiful. They were even having a vintage 1840s baseball game going on. Everyone was yelling, “huzzah.” Beyond that I have no idea what the rule difference is, but they looked cute in their knickers.

We then high-tailed it to Cleveland to try and get to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame before it closed. While we made the trip in only 30 minutes it was only about an hour before they closed. So we decided the hefty $22 was too much to pay for such a short period of time. We did get to walk around the lobby and store. Having been there before I knew Lisa wasn’t missing much, but sometimes you have to see for yourself that it isn’t worth it. She was a little disappointed. We did get to tour a bit of the lakefront and see the Browns stadium. We were both amazed at how brown the lake water is.

We had some time to kill so we decided to take advantage of the Garmin Nuvi and see what it recommended in the area. We were shocked to discover that the Memphis Pink Palace was only 1.6 miles from where we were. Even though the associated phone number had a 901 area code I decided to check it out anyway. We ended up in a very unsavory part of Cleveland. It seems that the fine Garmin programmers and their check systems missed that the zip code was wrong. Then Lisa saw that the there was a Dolly Madison bakery nearby. She was excited to see if they had zingers. But instead Garmin took us to an empty lot. So sad. The lesson is you can never fully trust your GPS, always doublecheck.

Day two we went to Amish Country. It was actually a lot of fun. Our first stop was The Amish Door for a delicious country lunch. Then we visited Wendell August, a tin forging workshop. We even got the chance to hammer out our frustrations on a sample.

No trip to the Amish country is complete without a visit toYoder’s Amish Experience. We got to take a tour of a real Amish home, ride in a real Amish buggy, and see how a real Amish farm works. We came to the conclusion that for a culture that wants to stay away from the world they’re very fond of entertaining it and selling it baked goods. I have to say the culinary highlight of the day were the cookies and cakes made by Rachel at the Amish Experience. They were so good.

Day three: We thought about heading back to Cleveland but honestly there is not a whole lot to do there. We found a cultural garden but it turned out each nationality was only represented by a rock, not a full garden or even a representation of the plants of that country. So not that festive. Instead we went back to Amish country to visit a victorian house museum in Millersburg, Coblentz chocolate factory and Heini’s Cheese chalet. It was another delightful day in the country. We couldn’t have had better weather. There were actual blue skies and it was sunny. A rare day in Ohio indeed.

The culinary highlight was not our lunch at the Millerburg Hotel. It was built in 1847 and the food was as tasteful as if it had been made then. Not good. The culinary highlight of the day was at Coblentz and the most delicious buckeyes. Mmmm tasty. Our day in the country was great but tiring, who knew fresh air was so exhausting.

Lisa left on Wednesday morning. We laughed a lot, saw a lot and it was a great visit. It was nice to have a friend in Ohio.

Three Months In May 3, 2008

I am on the third month of my big adventure away from everything I know.

In the last month we officially welcomed spring. The snow melted, the grass got green, the trees flowered and everything looked so pretty. It is awesome to wear short sleeves, be outside and not worry about ice.

I realized that while California has the facade of a laid-back lifestyle it is really an intense, crazy, busy place. I think, in part, that is due to the fact that there is no winter or weather forcing you to slow down, take it easy and hibernate. In California there is no real reason to stay inside - except for the occassional wildfire. Most of the time you are compelled to be out and about simply because you can. Here, in Ohio, you are forced to slow down, be inside, be with your family and take it slow for several months of the year.

I enjoy the slower pace sometimes, but after a while it gets a little old. There really is little to nothing to do here. Since the majority of the people my age have three or four kids everyone’s life centers around family activities. Churches here don’t even really pretend to have a singles program. They don’t really have to since if you are single its because you’re in college or in your 40s and divorced.

I need to get to a bigger city. I’m starting to shrivel. My brain is starting to hurt. I’m tired of doing nothing. I am a city girl. I need smog. I need traffic. I need architecture. I need theatre. I need culture. So the novelty has definitely worn off. I still enjoy being with my family but they actually have lives here and I don’t. I can’t picture myself here. I don’t know what to do here or how to just be here.

I am still asking the same questions about life. I wonder if I put that on hold living for my trips to California. I need to get back on my quest. I need to seek God more diligently, whatever that looks like. I don’t know how to do that. But I’m convinced I’m not doing it well enough - being a perfectionist is exhausting.

So no major breakthroughs. No major growth. No major discoveries. I expected more by now. I thought I’d have more a clue about something, but I don’t. The story of my life continues.

Shedding PST May 1, 2008

No I don’t have some weird skin condition. Instead I am still on Pacific Standard Time in a very EST (Eastern Standard Time) world. I was in CA just long enough to get three hours behind. Now its 1:36 in the morning and I’m wide-awake. Three hours is just long enough to be ridiculously off schedule for no real good reason. I mean I didn’t go to China or New Zealand.

So now I’m up. Watching re-runs of Little People Big World. I love that show. I am also attempting to catch up on emails, organize photos and convince myself I’m tired and should go lay down. But I don’t really want to. UGH!

I feel like I’m in a weird lala land. I miss California tremendously, or more precisely I miss my friends. Coming back to Ohio is always a shock to the system. I’ve decided that I need to more deliberately engage in life here in the big city. I’m going to attempt to look for a church and volunteer somewhere.

I’m also in a bit of a panic because the tags on my car expire this month. I’m not worried about the renewal fee or anything silly like that, but because with the simple thing my life in California will be officially over. I will have to hand over the two things that tangibly tie me to my former life - my California license plates and my California driver’s license. I am so proud of those two things. I love them. I like seeing them when in the parking lot or a store. It somehow reminds me of who I was.

They almost make me feel snobby. It is how I keep myself separate from Ohio, not that there is anything wrong with it, but still. I like letting people know that I’m not from here, I’m just passing through. But am I? I have no idea. And the odd thing is I am kind of from here. I lived a lot of my life before the age of 12 in the great Buckeye State. Maybe I need to reconnect with a different part of myself. I know I’m being ridiculous. It took me years to feel at home in CA. I used to reject the notion of being there too.

I think I am just resistant to change. I need to learn a more healthy way to let go and move on.

Back to the Motherland April 23, 2008

I am back in California this week for work. I am so loving the weather and being with friends. As usual the week is a whirlwind of activity and people. I hardly know where to do or what to do first. I feel like a cartoon character whose feet are moving 8 million miles an hour.

When I came back last month it felt weird. I was acutely aware of the fact that I didn’t live here anymore. Everything felt odd, I didn’t know where I belonged or what I was supposed to do. This time it felt like coming home. I wanted to go back to our condo, with my roommates and to my stuff.

In someways I feel like I never left. I have amazing friends that keep up with me and stay connected to me so being here with them is just a continuation of a perpetual conversation. Only now instead of wracking up the minutes on the phone it’s in person, over a delicious meal, or while doing something we love, like riding Tower of Terror. In some ways, I feel more like me when I’m here. It’s more familiar. I know where I am. I know how to get most places. The routine is familiar. The people are known.

But I am also acutely aware that I am not supposed to be here right now. This is time for faith stretching, discovering new parts of me, making new friends (with my family), learning to trust in the unknown. I still don’t have answers to the questions God is asking of me and that I am asking him. In many ways its easier to live with that confusion and uncertainty in the unfamiliar, because then I have no way or desire to wrestle control away from him. I need him everyday for sanity. I depend on him everyday for direction. I have to seek him in ways I never had to here.

It’s still hard. I still really don’t like Ohio. I’m still often bored. But in Ohio God has my undivided attention, I have nothing else to do. I hope I learn quickly. I learn better through adversity. I’m just stubborn like that.