Watching my Aunt battle cancer

This weekend my mom and I drove to Fort Wayne to visit my aunt, who was recently in the hospital.

She was diagnosed in February with breast cancer, during her baseline mammogram. Since it is an agressive ductal cancer they have since performed a bi-lateral mastectomy. During the surgery they discovered that the cancer has also spread to her sentinal nodes. We are still waiting for the results that reveal if it has spread beyond her lymphnodes.

It’s hard to wrap your brain around what is happening to her. She’s young, early 40s. She has three kids – 19, 16 and 11. She herself is a nurse. This isn’t supposed to happen. Now she is fighting for her life.

She’s used to fighting for other people. Her oldest child was diagnosed with diabetes at 3. She became a nurse and diabetic educator because of him. Now she helps other families cope with this life-changing dianosis.

Now she is completely out of control and powerless over what is happening in her own body. Seeing her scars today was hard. It is reality that this disease is taking over her life and the life of her family. Her kids are scared. Her husband is stressed and devastated.

But she soldiers on. Her attitude is fantastic. She is positive, upbeat and ready to fight. She is bound and determined to kick cancer’s ass. It’s amazing to see. She refuses to lay down and take it.

She knows a large part of this battle is in her mind. She kept telling me today that she feels peaceful and is picturing God holding her in the palm of his hand. What a beautiful picture! She knows the source of her comfort, strength and healing.

As her niece, I feel helpless. What can I do? You feel like you need to do something. Once she knows when she’s going to do chemo I might come and stay with her a few days a week. I’ve promised to help her find beautiful scarves. I will laugh with her, cry with her, comfort her and care for her. That is what family is all about.

The great thing is we’re all fighting for the chance to do that for her. We just want her to be well. My heart is just heavy. Watching her kids rally around her today just broke my heart. They just wanted to be near her. You could also see them will her to be fine. I can’t imagine the fear they carry.

But the battle is on! I want to find a good daily devotional for her, to keep her thinking good thoughts.

Filed under: Health, Mi Familia , aunt, breast cancer, chemotherapy, lymphnodes, mastectomy, niece

Prescription for More Sun

I went to the doctor today knowing that I would be spoken to very harshly.

I have a standing appointment every three months to get my A1C checked, which determines how my blood sugars are doing for that period. Well I knew my numbers were going to be up. Back in December, when we were working 16 hour days, I ate a lot of fast food, took my meds at odd times and had very little sleep. I also know my sugars were up because I’ve been very fatigued, going to the bathroom more and thirstier. So I braced myself for the worst but went anyway cause I needed refills on my prescriptions.

The nice thing about my doctor is that he will at least see how I’m doing before he tells me I’m a terrible patient and killing myself. Well as I thought, my A1C was up to 9.6, a point and a half higher than three months ago. The goal is below seven. But rather than yell at me he told me that in addition to the usual tests he also had my vitamin D level checked. Huh?

It seems that Vitamin D is required by the pancreas to make and release insulin, critical for those with type 1 and type 2 diabetes. Well normal levels are 32-35, mine was 6. So I have to take a super-duper prescription dosis of vitamin d for a month to see if my numbers increase. It also helps regulate sleep, weight, moods and energy. Wow, that’s big responsibility for one little vitamin.

Vitamin D is not something we readily gain in food it is instead made in the body by cholesterol. It is activated by ultraviolet light (the sun), aaahh the problem. I live in Ohio the cloudy capital of America. I asked him if he could write me a prescription to move to California. He didn’t think that was funny.

I did a google search and discovered that foods high in vitamin d, besides milk are salmon, shrimp, cod, and boiled eggs. I guess I’m going to be drinking a lot of milk.

It will be interesting to see what happens in my body once my levels start to increase. Who knows I might become a pollyanna and take over the world.

Filed under: Health , A1C, diabetes, insulin, pancreas, vitamin D deficiency

Hold that thought

I was going to write my post for today but was called to take my mom to the ER. Kidney stone.

Gotta go

Filed under: Health, Mi Familia

Too sick to blog

I had a great post planned for today. It involved me giving a really too honest answer to a complete and total stranger. Instead I’ve been stricken with the bird flu, malaria, tetse fly, sars or something like that involving my sinuses, pressure, runny nose, fever, cold chills, and coughing. I can barely lift my head without feeling like its going to fall off but yet I mustered up the energy to update my facebook status – all about priorities I guess.

I will say that I’m giving a new all natural remedy a try. It’s called oscillococcinum. I have no idea how to pronounce it but my dad swears that its amazing and will cure cancer so we’ll see. I just took my first dose and am waiting for the magic to kick in.

In the mean time I’m going to go lay down and feel sorry for myself.

Filed under: Health , sick, sinus

Dum-Dum Wound

This morning at about 2:15 a.m. I couldn’t sleep and was up sorting vacation photos from Savannah. My computer was running really slow because of all the media files and I got up to get something to drink.

As I turned to get up out of my chair my baby toe caught the leg of the dining room table and bent sideways about 90 degrees. It wasn’t pretty and it immediately hurt so bad I was speechless and crying silent tears. I had no breath. Then the rush of pain and voice came in the next instant and I was cursing and yelping at the same time. The entire left side of my left food was burning, throbbing and aching all at once. There was no blood just mind-numbing pain.

How could something so small hurt so freaking bad? I have no idea. At that point I decided it best just to go to bed. I woke up later with a black and blue toe and the inability to put any pressure on my foot.

I will be hobbling for a while. I just feel retarded telling people I broke my toe. But it is a very real pain. The sad thing is. I have broken a toe on this foot before. The last time I was lunging for the phone and my foot met a box of books and the box won. I really need to be kinder to my feet.

Filed under: Health , broken bone, foot, pain, toe

Setback

I got a little cocky yesterday. I ventured out of the house and back to work. I even went as far as to eat something other than crackers and chicken soup. Yes. I was an idiot.

I paid the price today. UGH. This really bites. I’ve heard from three friends today who all have the same thing, seems like this bug is really getting around. But better this week than next when my nephews will be here.

So today, I lay in bed, sleeping, shivering, watching tv and wretching as my flu master requires.

Filed under: Health , rest, sick, stomach flu

UGH. Stomach Flu. Sucks.

It came on in a flash.

I’m not talking about the vapors, a crush or anything at all pleasant. I’m talking about the stomach flu. I was fine this morning, then at around 11:30 p.m. I got a wave of nausea. I thought it was just cause I hadn’t eaten all day so I went to the lunch room and got some popcorn. As my mother would say, that came in on the dumb idea train.

The nausea got worse and invited some stomach cramps, so I went home and spent the afternoon talking to earl on the big white phone. Yep it all came back up and brought on the chills and muscle aches.

I slept a lot of the afternoon and only woke up to talk to Earl some more. UGH.

The ironic and unfortunate thing is that Tina is downstairs with the same thing. Unbeknownst to each other we’re both suffering from the stomach flu together. I hate being sick. But the stomach flu is the worst. Bring on allergies, bronchitis, head cold, pneumonia I’d rather do that than throw up. That is the worst. It just makes me miss my mom.

She was the best when we were sick. She was attentive, loving, comforting and there was nothing she wouldn’t do. She’d read to me, rub my back, stay up with me all night, play games and always had the right words and remedy to make me feel better.

As I curl up in bed with another attack of the chills I want my mommy.

Filed under: Health , flu, mom, sick, stomach

World Vision AIDS Experience

One of the most meaningful experiences for me at Saddleback’s Global Summit on AIDS and the CHURCH was the World Vision AIDS Experience. It allows you to step into the life of a child in Africa whose life is affected in someway by HIV/AIDS. All stories are based on a true story.

When you walk into the tent you are given an iPod Shuffle where you can hear the faint beat of a drum and your guide orientates you to the experience. He invites you to leave your world behind and fully embrace with open mind and heart the story you’re about to hear. The slow drumbeat becomes a heartbeat and I moved into the story. I was given the identity of Mothombo. A 6 year old girl from Lesotho, a tiny, South African nation.

Her father left when she was very young. She has no idea who or where he is. Her mother works very hard to provide for her and her two brothers. They survive on very little and live in a tiny little shack. She sleeps on the floor next to her mother.

One day she is sent out for sweets and while she’s out her mother leaves to the city to look for work. Her brother tells her she’ll be right back, but Mothombo knows she’s gone. They are now left on their own to protect and provide for themselves. Soon her brother begins to get violent and beat her. She has no one to protect her from him or the other dangers of being a girl in this part of the country. There are men lurking who want to take advantage of her. She’s very scared and feels very alone.

Soon she meets someone who is a World Vision caregiver that invites her to stay at her home. She makes sure that Mothombo is safe, eating, and is going to school. She also introduces her to Jesus.

As a participant we live Mothombo’s life with her. Her home, school, and church is recreated through photographs, props and voices on the headset. I felt like I was there with her. I could feel her despair as I looked into her bedroom. I could feel her faith as I said on the church bench with the bible. I felt her joy when her mother returned, even though she was sick with the unspeakable disease. I could feel her exhaustion from taking care of her mother and going to school at the same time. I felt her fear when I walked into the clinic to get her AIDS test.

The entire experience felt like meditational prayer. My heart was broken and I was moved. At the end of Mothombo’s story you are moved into a chapel filled with faces of children and adults affected by HIV/AIDS. I couldn’t help by cry out to God for his grace and mercy.

The World Vision AIDS Experience accomplishes its goal of changing everything you know about AIDS. When the tent comes to your community, go. You will not be the same.

Filed under: Health, Spiritual Formation , Africa, HIV/AIDS, Saddleback Conference, World Vision AIDS Experience

Dealing with the Smoke

Now that we are out of imminent fire danger the biggest threat is smoke inhalation.

The sky is still filled with plumes of white and black smoke and the ground is beginning to be covered with ash. I can’t imagine what’s in our lungs.

Today at work they were handing out masks to help reduce the congestion and sneezing but the watery eyes and burning throat are hard to fight. Tina has some great pictures of the efforts.

Since we lived so close our house was filled with the now familiar fire smell. We’ve been running the air conditioning so there is at least one filter to what is passing into our lungs.

All I can say is praise God for allergy drugs. I’m doing all right.

Filed under: Health, Living in LA LA Land , allergies, fire, orange county, smoke

Allergic Reaction Explained

My quasimodo face has finally been explained.

After three hours of poking, prodding, scratching, reacting, getting shots, and x-rays I finally know why my eyes, lips, cheeks, throat and tongue have been swelling beyond oblivion. I am allergic to dust, cats, trees and mold and it is triggering my asthma.

It was odd to see that just the scratch test of dust caused my back to swell just like my face. The cat test was a little less but still very reactive.

I realized that each of my previous incidences have happened at work (remember I work in a former gravel pit) and/or with people who have cats. See I knew there was a reason I hated cats. At least now I can officially say that I am allergic to work. Sweet.

I’m just glad to know what it is. I get to add a pill to my arsenal of medication but as the doc pointed out – you like to breathe right?

Filed under: Health , allergies, asthma, doctor, swelling