Marti's Musings

Icon

Ongoing quest for meaning and purpose

Dream of the Past

I haven’t been dreaming lately but the other night after ranting and raving to God I had a doosy.

I was praying about why I was here in Ohio, why was I still struggling with so much restlessness in my life, where in the world was my prince charming and what did He plan to do about it. I cried. I yelled. I whimpered. I whined. He patiently listened and comforted me enough so I could finally fall sleep.

It was in my sleep that Te answered me. That night I dreamed that I finally met the man of my dreams. Ironically enough he was a rock star of some sort and had long hair, which I hate, but that is besides the point. I could sense that we were really in love. I just wanted to spend time with him. However, everytime we tried to date one of four people who have caused much trauma and destruction in my life would interrupt us. They would end up doing something that would prevent us from speaking to each other or engaging with one another at all. They were literally between us.

I told my mom the dream the next day and wondered aloud what it meant. She just laughed and said, “you have to be kidding me, you know what that means.”

After I thought about it for another minute I did. It is my past that is getting in the way of my future. This was God’s answer to me about why I’m restless, why I’m here in Ohio and what prevents me from obtaining his rock star best for me. It’s about dealing with the past to move forward. Ultimately it boils down to forgiveness.

UGH! It’s freeing and terrifying at the same time. After the dream, I stopped asking those questions for a few days. I’m afraid of what dealing with those issues means. I’m afraid of confrontation. I’m afraid he’ll ask me to let them back in my life. But I suppose in those instances he will be there to comfort me too.

Filed under: Dreaming, Living in Ohio, Mi Familia, Spiritual Formation , , , , ,

Dreams of Parents, Sink Holes and Betrayal

I have been having some seriously freaky dreams lately.

The first was last week I dreamed that when I went home to Ohio I discovered my parents were secret drug users. It was so odd. I was just perplexed and weirded out.

Then a couple of nights ago I dreamed that I went to the ocean with my mom. I was still up by the car and my mom was down on the sand. All of the sudden a giant sink hole opened up in the sand and swallowed everyone on the beach. I watched her disappear. I was frantic, panicked and freaked out. I actually woke up in a cold sweat and crying. How strange is that.

Then last night I dreamed that a friend betrayed me. I told her something in confidence that she revealed in an open forum. I was so angry. I went to her to ask her why she did it and she just blew me off.

I’m sure these are just all emotions about moving, fear of the unknown, and anxiety about life in general. That and I have been eating later lately, so maybe they’re just food dreams.

Filed under: Dreaming

Dream of Lost Car

Last night I had one of my reoccuring dreams – a lost car.

This time rather than dreaming of a car I own or have owned I dreamt that I rented a classic car. I rented it from the high school in the small town I grew up in. I drove the car for a minute and then parked it. When I went back to find it, it was gone. I searched all over town for this car for the rest of the dream.

I haven’t had a dream about a lost car since October of 2005, right when my relationship with my ex started to fall apart. So maybe I have this dream when things are about to change and I’m a little unsure of myself. A dream of cars is about identity and position in life. A stolen car is about lost identity, isn’t that the truth. I guess the move back to Ohio is finally showing up in my dreams. My unconscious is finally starting to process, a good thing I suppose.

Filed under: About Me, Dreaming , , , , ,

Dream of Bridges

Last night I dreamt I was back in Paris. I was with three friends, different ones from the last dream, and we were out siteseeing. I had my camera and was snapping away at all of the gorgeous scenery around me.

At one point I realized I was on a bridge and that all of the railings and barriers on the bridge were really low. There was nothing to prevent you from falling off. I was petrified. I couldn’t even bring myself to look over the edge.

I would get distracted from the fear by the beauty around me and start snapping pictures of scenery and churches. As soon as I realized once again that I was close to the edge, I’d run back to the middle. This kept happening over and over.

The focus, in the dream, then shifted to one of my friends who wanted to visit KFC, Taco Bell and McDonalds. I was horrified, asking why of all the great restaurants around us she wanted to eat at those places. I think this is because we commented on Sunday it was odd to see those fast food chains in Laguna Beach.

The trusty Dreammoods site said: “To dream that you are crossing a bridge, signifies an important decision or a critical junction in your life. Bridges represent a transitional period in your life where you will be moving on to a new stage.” I’ve felt like I’m been in a transition period for the last two years. Maybe I’m finally about to move. I’m up for that. Who knows.

Other elements in the dream are interpreted as the following:

Fear: “To dream that you feel fear, signifies that you are having anxieties in certain circumstances of your life.” LOL – who isn’t.

Paris: “To dream that you are in Paris, symbolizes your need for romance and passion. It also suggests that you are a person of distinction. You own personal experiences and knowledge of Paris will supercede the suggested interpretation here.” I have no personal experience or knowledge of Paris – only that its a place far away with beautiful scenery and a general distaste for Americans. I can definitely say that was represented. Why I needed to dream that, no idea.

Friends: “To see your friends in your dream, signifies aspects of your personality that you have rejected, but are ready to integrate these rejected part of yourself. The relationships you have with those around you are important in learning about yourself.” I couldn’t really see which friends they were so I don’t know what qualities these could be.

Photography: “To dream that you are a photographer, represents your need to hold on to an image from a point in your life.” Hmmm…

Picture: “To dream that you are taking a picture, suggests that you need to get a good understanding and gain more information on some issue. You need to focus more attention to some situation or relationship. Perhaps you feel that you need to recapture some past moments in a relationship.”

Now this is interesting. I have been delving into certain aspects of my past lately trying to understand them and their consequence on my life and understanding of life now. Yesterday I made some startling connections, it would make sense now that I’m afraid to dig deeper – lots of unresolved emotions and fears in that picture.

All very interesting. Maybe the dream wasn’t about the bridge but the fact that I kept trying to take pictures and got distracted by the fear.

Filed under: Dreaming, Pop Culture , , , ,

Dreaming of Adultery

I have had two dreams now of adultery.

I am not the one committing adultery in my dreams instead it is others in my life. In the first dream it was a dear friend who casually told me that she was having an affair and leaving her husband. I remember being shocked and kept questioning why. I was devastated for them. I had to call her later just to make sure they were okay.

Then a few nights later in second dream I was speaking to the child of a friend who tells me that her mother had an affair. This dream was more about confirmation of something I already knew. I wasn’t surprised. I don’t really keep in touch with this friend, so I have no idea what’s going on in her life at this point.

So what do these dreams mean? I have no idea. I looked up cheating, adultery and betrayal in the dream dictionay but they were all about these things happening with me or to me. So the interpretation doesn’t really apply to me.

Filed under: Dreaming

Dream of an Old Job

I’ve been having very strange dreams lately. Nothing as predictible as my usual reoccuring ones about travel or shoes more along the lines of friend’s cheating on their husbands and visiting former, hated places of employment. The later was the scariest.

In this dreaded, most confusing dream I returned to the office to take over my old job. Since I left three years ago, others have left but they were all there and we were going to work together again. Even in my dream I wondered what the heck I was doing there. I remember being sad that I returned and knew it was such a wrong decision.

Dreammoods says: “To dream that you are at your former or past work, suggests that there is an old lesson that you need to learn and apply to your current situation. “

The one thing I learned there was that I stayed too long. I was bored out of my mind and could feel my brain atrophy a tiny bit.

Filed under: Dreaming, Working

Dream of Travel – Passports and Cameras

Finally a new travel dream. WHI HOO!

I dreamed that I needed to get a passport. I had a ticket leaving in a few days and I needed to go down the passport office and get an emergency one.

I got there and I didn’t have any money, passport photos, I hadn’t even filled out the paperwork. I remembered someone telling me that you have to line up at 3 a.m. to see if you get on the first list to get in to possibly get your passport. I didn’t show up until the late morning. But I walked right in.

I kept telling everyone that I didn’t have anything ready to get a passport. But the minute I said I needed something it appeared. It was exactly what I needed in the moment that I needed it. There were no lines. I just walked right up to the window. I left with my passport in a few minutes. I was ready to go.

Then in the next scene of my dream I was in Paris with three friends. We were having a great time, until I realized my camera was missing. I started searching for it everywhere and it was just gone. I had just seen it but now it wasn’t anywhere to be found.

I found a bunch of things I didn’t want, but not one of the most important things I needed to enjoy my trip. I started sobbing and woke up.

Alright, this is what the Dreammoods Dictionary says:

1. Passport – To see a passport in your dream, signifies your identity and your ability to traverse various situations. You may going through a period of finding yourself and discovering who you are. Interesting, the therapy is paying off. Whi hoo!

2. Camera – To see a camera in your dream, signifies your desires to cling on and/or live in the past. Alternatively, it may represent your need to focus on a particular situation. Perhaps you need to get a clearer picture or idea. So to lose the camera, means I have let go of the past? This actually makes sense given a conversation I’d had earlier in the day. It’s hard to say goodbye to the past. But it is often for the best. I’m sure there are many cliches and trite statements about letting go and moving on, but I can’t think of them right now.

Filed under: Dreaming , , , , , ,

Dream of Travel – Yet Again

Last night I had yet another travel dream. I’m so sick of this dream I wish my unconscious or subconscious could come up with something else.

I was at the airport rushing to make my connecting flight to get to my parents house (at least I’m actually mid-journey this time instead of being unable start at all). I get to the gate and my flight has been cancelled. I ask the gate agent if there are any other flights and she says not until tomorrow. So I ask about surrounding airports. She says she has to go check and for some reason must leave the podium. Well she writes down the wrong aiports. She writes PGE instead of CLE. So I run out to the monitors to see if I can find a flight myself.

Only when I get to the monitors they’re scrolling through the information and I keep missing the C’s. I try on several monitors but can’t seem to catch the information. Finally I see that some flight to Cleveland is leaving from gate 2, which is the one right near me but I can’t tell what time and for some dream-reason why I can’t figure out if the flight has already left and I missed it or if its leaving in the future.

So I see the gate agent again and go over to get her help but now she’s moved on to someone else. Then I about fall off the bed and wake up.

Maybe this dream is just all about frustration and irritation about where I am in life. I want to move onto the next thing, the next phase but am stuck. If that’s the case then I’ll probably have this dream for the rest of my freaking life.

Filed under: Dreaming

Dream of Shoes

I haven’t really been dreaming lately.

However, last night I dreamed that I was in a mall walking around shopping. It must have been window shopping because I didn’t have any bags (indicating purchases). I didn’t find whatever it was that I was looking for.

When I left the mall I realized I didn’t have my shoes on. I remembered taking them off somewhere in the mall but I couldn’t pinpoint where. I briefly thought about going back in to look for them but decided against it.

So I started walking down the street with no shoes. I remember thinking it was odd, but that I didn’t have a choice. I had to keep walking.

Dreaming of shoes in a new one for me.

Read the rest of this entry »

Filed under: Dreaming

Dream of Alligators

I had a dream last night that there was an alligator in my house.

I was terrified to go in and refused to do it. Everyone kept telling me that it was fine but I didn’t believe them. I was convinced it would attack me and I wasn’t budging.

Finally I went into my house and found that the alligator wasn’t really alive but was instead made of wicker. It looked like the material they use to make chinese handcuffs and there were several of them around the house

How bizarre is that?! So I looked up alligator and scared in the dream dictionary.

Read the rest of this entry »

Filed under: Dreaming

Seize the Day

November 2009
M T W T F S S
« Oct    
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30  

RSS Mike and Marti Show Podcast

  • Back from the Beyond
    We know that you thought we were MIA, but we’ve resurfaced. We’re like a bad penny, we keep coming back. Find out what we’ve been up to and what we’re learning including: Dealing with a pre-teen child and the growth opportunities it provides Marti helping Aunt as she goes through chemo. How do you help someone in [...]
  • Transitions
    As Mike graduates from college we talk about pivotal moments in life, goals, options, feeling lost and wondering what to do next. Both Mike and Marti are in a place of uncertainty wondering where life will lead. Not wanting to stay in a rut they explore how the past has led them to this moment [...]
  • We’ve fallen and we can’t get up
    Just a note to say that we have not abandoned our podcast. Mike is in the middle of finals and doing all of the last minute crap required to graduate. So his attention span is short, tempers are flaring and he’s exhausted. So as soon as he returns from California to walk and receive his [...]
  • Forgiveness and Vulnerability, oh my
    Inspired by an article in Radiant Magazine about a woman who forgave her father after an affair, that produced a child, we tackle the process of forgiveness, according to our experience. Exploring the depth of emotions, hang-ups, and struggles associated with the traumatic events that require forgiveness and being forgiven we realize that these moments bring […]
  • Getting to Know You, Part Two - The Finale
    This is the end of the informational interview sessions.  This time we’re exploring the benefits of dysfunction, roadblocks to a true relationship with God and what makes us feel true joy. The answers are revealing about where we are in life. We joke about the past yet we’ve found an optimism and realism to embrace the [...]

Readers

wordpress
statistics

Categories

History

Flickr Photos

kev170

sean169

brenda168

First Communion

mom166

More Photos