Ok, I’ve realized that the biggest downside to parenting is the monotony. Your life is pretty much the same week in and week out - down to the arguments. I could script out the daily battles I have with my nephews - the first is over what kind of cereal to eat, the second is who will go first in the shower, then who is touching who in the car and another favorite is who controls the tv. Everyday. It’s the same. There isn’t a day that goes by that they don’t fight about these things - and more.
Today we entered a new level of arguing, fighting, irritation, fear and ridiculousness.
On the way home from swim class they were fighting over who was touching who and I had enough. I declared a “no talking” zone. So they decided to make noise with everything else in the car - door locks, window buttons and kicking the back of the chair. No amount of talking, reasoning or yelling would get them to settle down or more importantly SHUT UP.
Well in Jordy’s attempt to make noise with the door handle he actually opened the door. That’s right, going down the freeway at 65 mph Jordy opened the car door. I could feel the wind coming into the car.
My heart sank but it didn’t even phase him. He actually thought it was funny. So did his brother. I wanted to pull over the car and beat him senseless. He didn’t get how dangerous this was. I will admit there was severe yelling in the car.
Once we got home, they resumed their usual fight about who was going to shower first - even though I set up a schedule and it is clearly marked on the freakin’ calendar.
Now it’s the lunch battle. Who has more and who can eat the fastest are the flavor of the day. But then they really start to get into it. Someone is again touching someone else and it escalates to Mikey spitting a mouth full of food into Jordy’s hair and Jordy dumping juice all over Mikey.
I don’t even know what to do. They aren’t my kids. They don’t listen to me. So they had to eat in separate areas and then they spent about 40 minutes alone in their rooms. I just needed a break. I needed silence. I needed a valium and a drink.
I think anyone who is under the delusion that they want children should spend two weeks with actual children. It’s the warm fuzzy desire to give love and nurture that next generation that causes rational people to procreate. Because children will suck every last piece of life from your body. They will remove your ability to speak intelligently and you’re reduced to stuttering and general confusion. They will drive you to want to bang your head on the wall repeatedly until you are rendered unconscious.
I love my nephews. I really do. But I liked it better when I was just the fun aunt who swooped in with presents and a good time. I’m tired. I am bone weary tired and I need a break from them. I never thought I would say that, but I do.
Heh, we had my oldest niece out here last summer for five days. When we dropped her off at the airport, we had to go around the corner after she boarded to pump our fists because we felt so bad.
“Uncle Jeremy, do you know what my fifth-favorite restaurant is?” and so on in the car ride alllllllll the way home.
I love her, but …. kids are such a peach sometimes.
Kids are a peach - and a general pain in the butt sometimes
Thank goodness today was a better day or maybe I had a better attitude to handle it. Who knows. I love them dearly but 10 weeks of them daily is starting to wear my nerves thin.
I’m exhausted just reading your post. Wah!
Hope you get a little break soon.
Thanks. I think life is just hard right now around here. Everyone is in transition. We’re all on our last nerve. I just have to remember that they’re children and need stability. They need extra love. Sometimes I feel so guilty for yelling at them, but I swear to you - they don’t listen AT ALL. I wonder sometimes if they speak English. It’s just hard. So hard. Incredibly hard. My dad says its different when they’re yours, but all I could think of was - then you never get a break. This is a sign from Jesus I should never have children.
Advice:
1st- Don’t promise what you can’t deliver. In other words, if you say something like “I’m going to smack you as soon as we stop! $^#*&^*# !!
Then do it… even if you think better of it a minute later.
2nd - The boys have to preceive that you and their parents are in 100% total agreement regarding the rules and repercusions. If there is even a tiny gap between their authority and your’s, the kids will smell it and tear that tiny gap into a canyon.
3rd- It’s OK to seperate them… when they play, eat, sleep. It’s actually absesnce that makes the heart grow fonder- not cloesness.
4th- Children can smell fear and hesitation. Sounds like they have you cornered. They don’t need a grown-up friend, they need guidence. You forfieted the Good fairy auntie role months ago. Replace gifts as rewards with invitations to come to the table, play together, control over the TV, etc.
Poor Aunt Marti