Old Friends May 24, 2008

Tonight we visited with my childhood pastor and his family. They are integral part of my past and the development of my Christian walk.

They came to our church when I was six years old. We were part of the core group that saw the church frow from 200 to 3000, we sacrified to build the new church, we were involved in a million different ministries with them. We spent many hours at their house praying for the community, learning more about Christ, laughing, eating, talking, and sharing. Well as a kid I was running around causing commotion but I was aware of what they were doing.

Tonight was no different. We laughed, reminisced, and shared. It was great to be with them again. I forgot how hospitable, comfortable, and caring they are. Spending time with them reminds me that they were a large part of the reason I loved church as a kid.

Walking into their house was like returning to a version of or part of me that I forgot I was. It was nice, a soft blanket of warm-fuzzy memories. I think part of that comfort is because I don’t have to go through the “get-to-know-you” rituals. They already know me. I don’t have to answer the same superficial questions. Even though I haven’t seen them for years we pick up right where we left off. It’s easier to laugh and just be myself. They’ve already seen me at my worst. They already know how I am. They already love me. What a gloriously easy conversation it is.

Grey’s Anatomy and the Writer’s Strike May 23, 2008

Ok, the season finale of Grey’s Anatomy. One more chapter in the life of Seattle Grace closed til fall.

As I sat and watched it tonight I realized that the show has lost its luster for me. I’m tired of trying to figure out the connections, the bigger picture, how it all fits together. I am really sick of Meredith and Derek and all of their drama. McSteamy is tired and cliched. Erica and Callie are predictable and so politically correct. The really, big traumas are just lackluster and uninteresting. I’m just over it. I’m done caring. Who cares if Meredith “got whole?”

You know that Derek probably won’t make it back to her. Meredith is going to be stuck there, waiting for him, still. Something will happen on the way back - he’ll get hit by a car, Rose will turn out to be the dark and twisty one and will kill him - SOMETHING will happen. This is how the evil Shonda works.

I also blame the writer’s strike. Who cares about scripted tv? I must say I’ve lost a little love for tv through this strike. The networks didn’t do enough to woo me back. They should have made the season longer or something. All it did was make me realize there are more interesting things on tv to watch. Who knew I’d be fine with less of it and just HGTV, E, Bravo and TLC.

So goodbye Grey’s, Desperate Housewives, Brothers and Sisters, and Men in Trees. I have officially deleted you from my series manager.

American Idol 2008 May 21, 2008

For the first time since Kelly Clarkson I was totally sucked into American Idol. I blame it on the rough Ohio winter when we had nothing else to do.

Anyway, I was so into David Cook, from the time he sang Billie Jean I was on the bandwagon. I tried in vain for two hours last night to vote for him but it looks like he didn’t need me. Winning by 12 million votes he is the new American Idol. I think he is so talented and I would actually buy his album vs Ruben Studdard, Taylor Hicks, Fantasia Barrino or Jordin Sparks. It’s no surprise that Hicks has already been dropped from his label.

The finale this year was actually a great show, not just a lame one hour delay to the reveal. It was a great hour of tv - very entertaining.

Chick Flicks of the Bible May 20, 2008

Last night Elisabeth, a fellow PK and I, were talking and somehow got onto the topic of things we’d do and read in church when we got bored during the sermon while we were in high school.

Inbetween the perfection of my signature and writing notes to friends we’d respectively read and re-read our favorite passages of scripture, not for their holiness but for the drama. There are some seriously good chick flicks in the bible. Among our favorites:

- Esther - For such a time is this. A King is coerced by his ego into banishing his queen. A nationwide search is conducted to find a new queen. Esther, a Jewess, is abducted from the streets of her hometown and pushed into harem-training to learn how to please the King in hopes she’ll be chosen. But little does she know the role she will need to play to save her people from a genocide at the hands of the King who is duped by a leading advisor.
- Ruth and Boaz - When her husband dies the Moabite Ruth flees famine with her Jewish mother-in-law Naomi. In Bethlehem, with strange customs and religion Ruth begs in the fields, collecting leftover grain to support them. The fields are owned by Boaz, a relative of Naomi who is obligated by Levite law to marry Ruth to carry on his family line. But there is another man who has a closer rite and so he has to go and offer him Ruth first. The man declines, they marry and have a son named Obed, who is in Christ’s lineage.
- Rachel and Jacob and Leah - love triange between two sisters and one man. He is forced to work 14 years to get the love of his life who is then found to be barren.
- David and Bathsheba - this is definitely a Lifetime movie. He’s the King and she’s the wife of a soldier. He sees her bathing and has to have her. He summons, she comes to him and after one night of passion gets pregnant. He then has her husband killed. In shame he tries to hide from the consequences of his action until a prophet comes to reveal God’s punishment which includes the death of the baby.

See lots of drama, sin, intrigue, adultery, and heartbreak. Gotta love that in a good story.

Juno and My Parents May 18, 2008

Last night I watched Juno with my parents. I didn’t quite think through to the fact that the story paralleled their own lives. It didn’t hit me until we were about five minutes in and Juno is calling to “procure a hasty abortion” on her hamburger phone. Yikes.

My parents got pregnant when my mom was a senior in high school. Only in typical Catholic form they decided to keep the baby [me] and get married.

Watching this movie with them made me look at my parent differently. It was new for me to think of my mother as a scared 17 year-old in high school and pregnant. Or of my father as a lost boy not sure what his role was supposed to be. As my parents, I always expected them to know what they were doing. They were supposed to be the adults and in charge. Seeing how young Juno was made me realize that what I needed from my parents as a child was impossible for them to be.

I know they’re glad to have me, blah, blah, blah. I’m not pondering that at all. I’m looking at the situation almost in 3rd person, in part because of the movie, and as an adult. I wish they had time to finish growing up before they became parents.

My mom cried at the end of the movie. I wonder what she was crying about or who she was crying for. Maybe it was her own youth, childhood, and choices? I know she wonders what would have happened if she didn’t get pregnant. What if they had opted for abortion or adoption. Maybe their lives would be totally different, married to other people, happier, more content, more fulfilled because they finished growing up before they jumped into “situations way beyond their maturity level.”

I look at their lives and realize they are living out the consequences for decisions that a 17 and 19 year old made. How tragic that the course of your life is dictated by a horny teenager.

This isn’t to say, “oh poor me” or “oh how tragic.” God makes all things new and uses what could have destroyed us to be our greatest strength and for his glory.

Lisa’s Ohio Adventure May 8, 2008

My friend Lisa, from CA, braved the midwest frontier and ventured forth to visit me this week. She was here for five glorious days. We had a great time and we even managed to fill three whole days with things to do. LOL, who knew there was so much to entertain us in Ohio. There are even things we didn’t get to, I was shocked.

Since this was really my first foray into Ohio tourist activities we went to Borders to see if there was a travel book or other tourist info for the area, we found nothing. But after scouring the internet we found interesting sites beyond the Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame and Football Hall of Fame, including culinary delights. I think we pretty much ate our way through the state. That is the great Ohio activity.

We ended her first day in Ohio with a trip to the $1 Theatre to see The Bucket List, which was surprisingly boring. I thought for sure with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson it would be good, but not so much. The best part was the final 15 minutes. Very disappointing.

Our culinary highlight of the day was a trip to Quaker Steak & Lube for the best wings on the planet. We tried four different sauces: Premium Garlic, Thai-R-Tracker, Asian Sesame and Louisiana Licker. We did not go for the atomic sauce you need to sign a waiver to try.

Our culinary highlight of day 2 came early, a breakfast at Cracker Barrel. The pancakes are a must have with real maple syrup. Our next stop was in Akron to visit Stan Hywet Hall, the former home of the Sieberlings (founder of Goodyear Tire & Rubber Company). It was spectacular. The home and grounds, built to resemble an English country estate, were amazing and beautiful. They were even having a vintage 1840s baseball game going on. Everyone was yelling, “huzzah.” Beyond that I have no idea what the rule difference is, but they looked cute in their knickers.

We then high-tailed it to Cleveland to try and get to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame before it closed. While we made the trip in only 30 minutes it was only about an hour before they closed. So we decided the hefty $22 was too much to pay for such a short period of time. We did get to walk around the lobby and store. Having been there before I knew Lisa wasn’t missing much, but sometimes you have to see for yourself that it isn’t worth it. She was a little disappointed. We did get to tour a bit of the lakefront and see the Browns stadium. We were both amazed at how brown the lake water is.

We had some time to kill so we decided to take advantage of the Garmin Nuvi and see what it recommended in the area. We were shocked to discover that the Memphis Pink Palace was only 1.6 miles from where we were. Even though the associated phone number had a 901 area code I decided to check it out anyway. We ended up in a very unsavory part of Cleveland. It seems that the fine Garmin programmers and their check systems missed that the zip code was wrong. Then Lisa saw that the there was a Dolly Madison bakery nearby. She was excited to see if they had zingers. But instead Garmin took us to an empty lot. So sad. The lesson is you can never fully trust your GPS, always doublecheck.

Day two we went to Amish Country. It was actually a lot of fun. Our first stop was The Amish Door for a delicious country lunch. Then we visited Wendell August, a tin forging workshop. We even got the chance to hammer out our frustrations on a sample.

No trip to the Amish country is complete without a visit toYoder’s Amish Experience. We got to take a tour of a real Amish home, ride in a real Amish buggy, and see how a real Amish farm works. We came to the conclusion that for a culture that wants to stay away from the world they’re very fond of entertaining it and selling it baked goods. I have to say the culinary highlight of the day were the cookies and cakes made by Rachel at the Amish Experience. They were so good.

Day three: We thought about heading back to Cleveland but honestly there is not a whole lot to do there. We found a cultural garden but it turned out each nationality was only represented by a rock, not a full garden or even a representation of the plants of that country. So not that festive. Instead we went back to Amish country to visit a victorian house museum in Millersburg, Coblentz chocolate factory and Heini’s Cheese chalet. It was another delightful day in the country. We couldn’t have had better weather. There were actual blue skies and it was sunny. A rare day in Ohio indeed.

The culinary highlight was not our lunch at the Millerburg Hotel. It was built in 1847 and the food was as tasteful as if it had been made then. Not good. The culinary highlight of the day was at Coblentz and the most delicious buckeyes. Mmmm tasty. Our day in the country was great but tiring, who knew fresh air was so exhausting.

Lisa left on Wednesday morning. We laughed a lot, saw a lot and it was a great visit. It was nice to have a friend in Ohio.

Three Months In May 3, 2008

I am on the third month of my big adventure away from everything I know.

In the last month we officially welcomed spring. The snow melted, the grass got green, the trees flowered and everything looked so pretty. It is awesome to wear short sleeves, be outside and not worry about ice.

I realized that while California has the facade of a laid-back lifestyle it is really an intense, crazy, busy place. I think, in part, that is due to the fact that there is no winter or weather forcing you to slow down, take it easy and hibernate. In California there is no real reason to stay inside - except for the occassional wildfire. Most of the time you are compelled to be out and about simply because you can. Here, in Ohio, you are forced to slow down, be inside, be with your family and take it slow for several months of the year.

I enjoy the slower pace sometimes, but after a while it gets a little old. There really is little to nothing to do here. Since the majority of the people my age have three or four kids everyone’s life centers around family activities. Churches here don’t even really pretend to have a singles program. They don’t really have to since if you are single its because you’re in college or in your 40s and divorced.

I need to get to a bigger city. I’m starting to shrivel. My brain is starting to hurt. I’m tired of doing nothing. I am a city girl. I need smog. I need traffic. I need architecture. I need theatre. I need culture. So the novelty has definitely worn off. I still enjoy being with my family but they actually have lives here and I don’t. I can’t picture myself here. I don’t know what to do here or how to just be here.

I am still asking the same questions about life. I wonder if I put that on hold living for my trips to California. I need to get back on my quest. I need to seek God more diligently, whatever that looks like. I don’t know how to do that. But I’m convinced I’m not doing it well enough - being a perfectionist is exhausting.

So no major breakthroughs. No major growth. No major discoveries. I expected more by now. I thought I’d have more a clue about something, but I don’t. The story of my life continues.

Shedding PST May 1, 2008

No I don’t have some weird skin condition. Instead I am still on Pacific Standard Time in a very EST (Eastern Standard Time) world. I was in CA just long enough to get three hours behind. Now its 1:36 in the morning and I’m wide-awake. Three hours is just long enough to be ridiculously off schedule for no real good reason. I mean I didn’t go to China or New Zealand.

So now I’m up. Watching re-runs of Little People Big World. I love that show. I am also attempting to catch up on emails, organize photos and convince myself I’m tired and should go lay down. But I don’t really want to. UGH!

I feel like I’m in a weird lala land. I miss California tremendously, or more precisely I miss my friends. Coming back to Ohio is always a shock to the system. I’ve decided that I need to more deliberately engage in life here in the big city. I’m going to attempt to look for a church and volunteer somewhere.

I’m also in a bit of a panic because the tags on my car expire this month. I’m not worried about the renewal fee or anything silly like that, but because with the simple thing my life in California will be officially over. I will have to hand over the two things that tangibly tie me to my former life - my California license plates and my California driver’s license. I am so proud of those two things. I love them. I like seeing them when in the parking lot or a store. It somehow reminds me of who I was.

They almost make me feel snobby. It is how I keep myself separate from Ohio, not that there is anything wrong with it, but still. I like letting people know that I’m not from here, I’m just passing through. But am I? I have no idea. And the odd thing is I am kind of from here. I lived a lot of my life before the age of 12 in the great Buckeye State. Maybe I need to reconnect with a different part of myself. I know I’m being ridiculous. It took me years to feel at home in CA. I used to reject the notion of being there too.

I think I am just resistant to change. I need to learn a more healthy way to let go and move on.