I have no schedule. I have no set time I need to be up and around. I don’t need to be anywhere. For someone with a strong sense of obligation and duty, it is a very odd feeling.
Now that I am not working 9-5 I am free to come and go as I please. Most of the time I don’t know what to do with myself and I find that I just wander around aimlessly. I fritter away a lot of time, as much as I fritter money sometimes. You know that feeling when you pull $60 out of the ATM and like a day later its gone. You know you took the money out. You might remember buying something at Starbucks but beyond that you have no idea what you spent it on, but you know it’s gone.
Yea, that’s what happens with my days. I know I got up. I know I showered. I know I got some work done but beyond that I have no idea what I did. There are so few markers to my days. I don’t have meetings to rush to. There are no pressing commitments every night. No dinners out with friends. There is the occassional family to do, but nothing really that I’m responsible for outright.
I have gotten to spend a lot of time with my nephews, which has been fun. They’re a blast. I am getting better at Guitar Hero 3. I have also gotten better at scraping snow off my car. It’s amazing how time consuming that is. You have to add an additional 20 minutes of time to prep your car to leave the driveway. I’m also driving a lot slower because I’m afraid of spinning out on the ice. So there is a chunk of time there. Ok, so maybe I do know where my time goes it just seems a little trivial.
Well it’s 1:02 a.m. I should get to sleep. Why? I have no idea. I’ll get up at my usual time of 10 and putter around, til I get some coffee. Wander a little and probably clean something. Then I’ll sit down and work a few hours. Then its time for lunch.
Maybe I should get more disciplined. I need a schedule. I need to spend more time praying. I have the time, why is it hard to sit and pray, read, journal and spend time with God. I have no idea. That is what this time was supposed to be about. I need to get on that.




