Last night I said goodbye to one of my small groups.
We’re at a natural breaking point in our study and I’ve handed over the leadership reigns. It’s just odd. I’ve been dreading it. I can feel myself get overwhelmed with the details of what needs to be done and I find myself starting to shut down.
My prayer is to stay present and absorb all of the joy and pain out of these moments as I start to let go of what has been my life for a long time.
I was right in that it was really, really hard but it was also amazing. They loved on me, prayed for me and said the most beautiful things. They were so expressive, appreciative, kind, generous and I was blown away.
God blessed me with some amazing friends. I will miss their insight, grace, correction, friendship, and jokes.
Our group was formed randomly at a connection event and God is so good. He brought together the perfect group of women. We don’t always agree but we do learn so much from each other. Each woman contributes something so unique and amazing to our experience and journey together.
It still sucked to say goodbye, I still have two more small groups to leave. I did cry. I also laughed a lot. In the end, I just felt so incredibly loved. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt it this strong before. It shows how far I’ve come in my own healing and it feels good.
A few years ago I would have been too afraid to let them in. I would have never stepped up to be a leader and I would have been so robbed of these great people. It hasn’t been easy to open up, be vulnerable, share my faults, speak my mind or even show up every week. But the reward and fruit of this experience has been beyond my every expectation. The risk was worth it. Receiving this kind of love is definitely what God means when he says he wants us to have immeasurably more.
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