January 31, 2008 • 3:27 PM
Today I had my farewell breakfast at work. I’ve gotten quite the “It’s a Wonderful Life” experience this week as people come and express their love to me. You never really know what people think of you until times like this. I was shocked and surprised by some of the things said and my boss was the biggest.
He said and prayed some beautiful and amazing things. I lost it and just started bawling. But as I’ve said goodbye to people, some close and some random, I’ve been overwhelmed with how loved I am here. I know and work with some of the best people. Regardless of all the crap happening with the job and the organization I knew my department was a family. They have contributed such incredible things to my life.
Then for lunch we went down to Laguna beach for one last team outing. It was a spectacularly beautiful day with blue skies, and warm weather, everything that makes California wonderful. I was glad that I got to experience it with my team one last time.
It was a good day. I am just so grateful for this time and experience. I’m just now beginning to grasp how rich it was for me and how God was working incredible things for me and I had no idea. I’m so appreciative of this time to reflect, see and marvel at his often invisible hand at work in my life through this organization.
When my job changed for the first time, about 2 months on the job, God told me that my time there would not be able the work. For me it was about personal growth, strengthening of my character and enriching my life with people who would model grace, mercy, and compassion for me. I learned how to make mistakes gracefully. I learned how to love a lot more. I got a better glimpse of unconditional love.
Amazing. God is so good.
Filed under: Spiritual Formation, Things I love, Working , California, Laguna, personal growth, quitting, work
January 28, 2008 • 9:41 AM
Janine and Tina moved out today. Our house is emptier and emptier. I will be there through Thursday and then leave on Friday morning for Ohio.
It really hit me as I came home tonight that life as I knew it is over. It was depressing to walk into the empty condo. There is no life left in it. Everything that made it a home is gone.
I will miss Tina’s smiling face asking me how my day was.
I will miss Janine yelling Marrrrti as I walk in the door.
I will miss Tina mooching food from me. LOL. It really was endearing, after a while 
I will miss all the girl conversations with Janine, about really inappropriate and personal topics. LOL.
I will miss living with peers, in the same stage of life with me.
I will miss having them to debrief my day/dates/people with.
I will miss the sense of home we created together.
I will miss sitting at the kitchen eat-in yakking about anything and everything with them.
I will miss their generous hospitality. Everyone was always welcome at our house.
We are all so amazingly different. Sometimes I’m shocked one of us didn’t die and then there are those moments when it just worked. Maybe same sex roommates are a prep for marriage. Who knows. I do know that I learned so much from them this year. I was so blessed to be able to share a house with them.
So thank you Janine and Tina for helping to shape and mold me. You will forever be apart of me and I’m so glad that you’ll always be in my life somehow.
Filed under: Friendshipping, Living in LA LA Land , Friends, moving, roommates
January 25, 2008 • 2:13 AM
I have been having some seriously freaky dreams lately.
The first was last week I dreamed that when I went home to Ohio I discovered my parents were secret drug users. It was so odd. I was just perplexed and weirded out.
Then a couple of nights ago I dreamed that I went to the ocean with my mom. I was still up by the car and my mom was down on the sand. All of the sudden a giant sink hole opened up in the sand and swallowed everyone on the beach. I watched her disappear. I was frantic, panicked and freaked out. I actually woke up in a cold sweat and crying. How strange is that.
Then last night I dreamed that a friend betrayed me. I told her something in confidence that she revealed in an open forum. I was so angry. I went to her to ask her why she did it and she just blew me off.
I’m sure these are just all emotions about moving, fear of the unknown, and anxiety about life in general. That and I have been eating later lately, so maybe they’re just food dreams.
Filed under: Dreaming
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