Marti's Musings

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Ongoing quest for meaning and purpose

Creating Gentlemen

One thing I have learned during this time with my nephews is that gentlemen are created, not born.

I have never had so many conversations about farts, poop, burbs, butts and other bodily functions. They love to talk about it, do it, smell it, etc, all the time. It’s amazing.

My brother and sister-in-law are trying to help them control themselves. Apparently they got so bad flatulating in public they had to institute the “push-up” rule. Now if they fart outside of the bathroom or their room they have to do 10 push-ups. My brother said the first day they had to do like 100. But it did help curb it.

One day at lunch we had a whole conversation about what constitutes “gentleman-like behavior.” Right away they came up with a list of like 15 things. A gentlemen will open doors for women, refrain from scratching himself in public, listen to their moms, not fart near food, flush the toilet. See, they know, they just don’t want to do it because it requires work. It’s much easier to be rude and crude.

On occassion, the little gentleman that lives in each of them will come out and other times it’s all about a really loud, stinky fart that makes your hair curl. This will be a long process.

Filed under: Mi Familia , , , ,

Nephew’s Disappointed

Well, we finally told my nephews yesterday that I’m moving back to Ohio and the reception was less than excited. In fact they were downright disappointed.

Mikey’s first response was disbelief. He thought I was trying to trick him. Then he said, “Why?” His exact comment was, “Aunt Marti, people don’t move to Ohio by choice.” His came up with quite the list for why I shouldn’t move in just a few minutes. The top of the list was – its cold, boring, no beach,

I tried to sway him by saying we could spend more time together, but this didn’t move him. He said he likes visiting me here every year. Now he’s worried about where he’ll go on vacation. His top choice for me to move to was Hawaii or Florida.

You can tell he’s processing because every couple of days he’ll come up with a few reasons why I should or shouldn’t move.

He’ll get used to the idea. He just has no frame of reference for me outside of vacation. I’ll have to come up with ways to show him how this can be great.

Filed under: Mi Familia , , ,

Brother and Fam Arrived

My brother and his family finally arrived today. We are in for a fun filled eight days of activities.

He started his vacation in Houston with my sister-in-laws family, then they took the train from there to Ontario. It was amazing how much cheaper the train was than flying. He said the boys (Mikey, 9 and Jordy, 6) enjoyed the trip but that they survived thanks to their PSP and Game Boy Advance. Oh the things the kids today have to entertain themselves with.

Last year we did all of the big amusement parks (Disney, Universal, Sea World, etc). This is year is more low key. It will be about museums, the beach, ships and other attractions in the area.

I’m glad their here. I love showing them around and getting the chance to hang out with my nephews. It’s gonna be great.

Filed under: Mi Familia , , , ,

Dream of Lost Car

Last night I had one of my reoccuring dreams – a lost car.

This time rather than dreaming of a car I own or have owned I dreamt that I rented a classic car. I rented it from the high school in the small town I grew up in. I drove the car for a minute and then parked it. When I went back to find it, it was gone. I searched all over town for this car for the rest of the dream.

I haven’t had a dream about a lost car since October of 2005, right when my relationship with my ex started to fall apart. So maybe I have this dream when things are about to change and I’m a little unsure of myself. A dream of cars is about identity and position in life. A stolen car is about lost identity, isn’t that the truth. I guess the move back to Ohio is finally showing up in my dreams. My unconscious is finally starting to process, a good thing I suppose.

Filed under: About Me, Dreaming , , , , ,

Happy Unplanned Birthday to Me

Having a birthday the day after Christmas usually makes celebrating it difficult. Everyone is tired, out of town, or somehow unavailable. This year I feel completely celebrated. I had two parties, two lunches and I spent today with two good friends. And the great thing is, the celebration isn’t over. On Jan 6 Janine, Lisa, Tina and I, all of whom celebrate a birthday in Dec/Jan, are going to have a princess birthday in Ariel’s Grotto at California Adventure. I can’t wait!

Today also marked another milestone for me, besides turning 33, it was the first time I left things unplanned. Yes, that’s right, I had no plan for how I was going to spend my birthday. I just couldn’t think of anything that seemed birthday worthy. I mean there are a million things I want to do but they were far, too much trouble, not special enough or just expensive. So I was actually stressed last night thinking how I was going to spend the day. Birthday’s can be anti-climatic if you let them, and I just wanted to have a fun, relaxing time with friends.

But it turns out that all my worry was all for naught. I woke up at 7 a.m. thanks to my brother who called to wish me a happy birthday. But I didn’t get up for real until almost 10 a.m. thanks to another well wisher. Then I came downstairs and Lisa, who spent the night, was making breakfast. We had leftover pot roast and eggs. It was delicious.

Then Debbie came over around 1 p.m. and all I knew was that I wanted to head south. So we hopped on PCH and turned left. We drove through the lovely Laguna Beach. I thought about stopping for gelato but it was too crowded. So we kept meandering along and went through San Juan Capistrano, Dana Point and then I remembered a cool place in San Clemente called Casa Romantica. It is a gorgeous house overlooking the ocean.

With no plan, there is no pressure, we just stopped when we thought of something fun. On the way back we decided to go through San Juan and go to the cute little shops near the Train Station and Mission. We never made it to the shops instead we went to have tea at the Los Rios Tea House . We got to wear hats, eat delicious scones and talk. It was glorious. I love tea.

Then around 6 p.m. we headed home and continued gabbing until now. They just went home and I’m exhausted. It was a great day without a plan. Normally, I have every detail mapped out. I like knowing what’s going to happen. But today was all about serendipity, living in the moment and going with the flow. It was fantastic.

We got to soak in the ocean as we travelled down PCH with the sunroof open. We saw a beautiful, historic Spanish home in San Clemente and dined on great tea and little sandwiches whilst wearing a hat. How can you beat that? You just can’t. It was a great day!!

This year I am in a much different place emotionally than I was last year. I finally quit a wrong-fitting job. I am moving in faith closer to my family to cultivate relationships with them. I am stepping in faith to embrace the immeasurably more that God has for us, instead of being restless in what is. So I think going without a plan is a theme for me in 2008. We’ll see how that goes. My 33rd year will be an interesting one if nothing else.

Filed under: About Me, Cooking and Food, Living in LA LA Land , , , , , , ,

P.S. I Love You [2007]

Lisa and I took a break from snacking and went to the movies. We wanted a romantic comedy but instead we cried for two hours.

Holly [Hillary Swank] and Jerry Kennedy [Gerard Butler] have been married for almost 10 years. They met while she was touring through Ireland and married very young. Their relationship is still passionate, complicated and wonderful.

Then Jerry dies. Holly is devastated, how can she go on with out him? She’s overwhelmed with grief and unable to continue living. She sees and feels him everywhere. Just when she’s about to give up on life completely she starts to receive letters he pre-arranged for her to receive. In them he propels her forward, back into life.

This is a melodramatic, over-the-top tearjerker and I absolutely loved it. It will never win an Oscar but come one hot men with Irish accents, how can you beat that. Especially a look at Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s naked butt – now that’s a scene.

It’s not a critic’s favorite, nor will it win any Oscar’s but its a good story of learning to move on after a devastating loss. Hillary Swank is not your typical romantic leading lady and in some respects that makes it a little more believable. She isn’t as cutesy or stereotypical.

Bottom line I think we all want to be loved like Jerry loves Holly.

Filed under: Pop Culture , , , ,

Merry Christmas to All

It’s a quiet Christmas this year. I didn’t go back to Ohio since I will be moving there in five weeks (yikes, the panic is starting to set in). Instead I am going to breakfast at a friend’s house then another friend is coming to spend the day with me. I think we’ll end up going to the movies

My brother and family will be coming in on Friday then I’ll ring in the New Year with them.

I hope your day is filled with laughter, love, family, friends or in the very least some spiked egg nog.

Filed under: Living in LA LA Land, Mi Familia , , ,

Setback

I got a little cocky yesterday. I ventured out of the house and back to work. I even went as far as to eat something other than crackers and chicken soup. Yes. I was an idiot.

I paid the price today. UGH. This really bites. I’ve heard from three friends today who all have the same thing, seems like this bug is really getting around. But better this week than next when my nephews will be here.

So today, I lay in bed, sleeping, shivering, watching tv and wretching as my flu master requires.

Filed under: Health , , ,

Birthday Surprise

Tonight one of my small groups surprised me with a birthday party.

I was really, truly, completely surprised. I had no idea. We gabbed, ate, laughed and had a great time.

They are a great group of women and I am so blessed! I sat there all night thinking how loved I am. They are fantastic.

Most days I’m okay with moving but on nights like tonight I realize what I’m leaving behind and it becomes a little bittersweet. God has so blessed me with amazing friends and support. They will definitely be missed.

Filed under: Small Grouping , , ,

UGH. Stomach Flu. Sucks.

It came on in a flash.

I’m not talking about the vapors, a crush or anything at all pleasant. I’m talking about the stomach flu. I was fine this morning, then at around 11:30 p.m. I got a wave of nausea. I thought it was just cause I hadn’t eaten all day so I went to the lunch room and got some popcorn. As my mother would say, that came in on the dumb idea train.

The nausea got worse and invited some stomach cramps, so I went home and spent the afternoon talking to earl on the big white phone. Yep it all came back up and brought on the chills and muscle aches.

I slept a lot of the afternoon and only woke up to talk to Earl some more. UGH.

The ironic and unfortunate thing is that Tina is downstairs with the same thing. Unbeknownst to each other we’re both suffering from the stomach flu together. I hate being sick. But the stomach flu is the worst. Bring on allergies, bronchitis, head cold, pneumonia I’d rather do that than throw up. That is the worst. It just makes me miss my mom.

She was the best when we were sick. She was attentive, loving, comforting and there was nothing she wouldn’t do. She’d read to me, rub my back, stay up with me all night, play games and always had the right words and remedy to make me feel better.

As I curl up in bed with another attack of the chills I want my mommy.

Filed under: Health , , , ,

Seize the Day

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RSS Mike and Marti Show Podcast

  • Back from the Beyond
    We know that you thought we were MIA, but we’ve resurfaced. We’re like a bad penny, we keep coming back. Find out what we’ve been up to and what we’re learning including: Dealing with a pre-teen child and the growth opportunities it provides Marti helping Aunt as she goes through chemo. How do you help someone in [...]
  • Transitions
    As Mike graduates from college we talk about pivotal moments in life, goals, options, feeling lost and wondering what to do next. Both Mike and Marti are in a place of uncertainty wondering where life will lead. Not wanting to stay in a rut they explore how the past has led them to this moment [...]
  • We’ve fallen and we can’t get up
    Just a note to say that we have not abandoned our podcast. Mike is in the middle of finals and doing all of the last minute crap required to graduate. So his attention span is short, tempers are flaring and he’s exhausted. So as soon as he returns from California to walk and receive his [...]
  • Forgiveness and Vulnerability, oh my
    Inspired by an article in Radiant Magazine about a woman who forgave her father after an affair, that produced a child, we tackle the process of forgiveness, according to our experience. Exploring the depth of emotions, hang-ups, and struggles associated with the traumatic events that require forgiveness and being forgiven we realize that these moments bring […]
  • Getting to Know You, Part Two - The Finale
    This is the end of the informational interview sessions.  This time we’re exploring the benefits of dysfunction, roadblocks to a true relationship with God and what makes us feel true joy. The answers are revealing about where we are in life. We joke about the past yet we’ve found an optimism and realism to embrace the [...]

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