Unpacking

The move is over and the unpacking has officially commenced. I hate unpacking.

I manage to unpack the utilitarian things but the bits and pieces that make it a home usually stay packed. At my last place I waited a year before I hung pictures, and only then because my parents were coming to visit.

I don’t know why but I detest it. Maybe its from years of moving. Maybe I hate sorting through my stuff. For the last six years every time I moved I unpacked less and less until just a remnant of what I need is out and displayed in my home. I have lived a nomadic existence.

I think that’s indicative of how I chose to live my life. I didn’t settle down. I didn’t grow roots. I didn’t get involved. I was present in body only.

The sad thing is the content of those boxes are important to me. They are full of memories, mementos, paintings I love, pictures I’ve collected and other significant things in my life. They are essentially parts of who I am, but I chose to keep them boxed up, hidden and out of site. I chose to remain distant, aloof and absent.

This time I have vowed to unpack every single box, bag, suitcase and tote. I will leave nothing packed up. Usually I tell myself I am in a temporary situation so what’s the point. Not this time. I don’t care if I’m there one year or ten, every box will be opened. I started on Monday night. I opened a box of yearbooks that has been packed for 5 years. It was like finding an old friend.

I am happy that I am at a place in my life, surrounded by people that let me be me. I am excited to be in a healthy living situation that is open and honest. I am grateful for this opportunity to grow. I know it isn’t going to be all sweetness and light. I know sometimes it’s going to be hard.

I also know it is going to be a good experience, no matter how long it lasts, because this time I’m going to unpack. This time I’m going to actually be there. I will be present! I will not just go through the motions.

Filed under: Psychobabbling

Almost done moving

I’m so tired my hair hurts. It’s been a long day, though very productive.

Most everything has been moved. Thanks to the help of some very dear, kind, generous people it went very well. You know who loves you when it comes time to move. Unfortunately now I can’t move. I lay here listless and semi-comatose even as I write this. My head is supported on a pillow and the only thing moving are my fingers. I’ve even lost the muscle power necessary to blink.

I need to rest up I have to go back to the old place tomorrow for one more carload full of stuff. Yep the stuff in boxes that will be sorted later. I also need to clean for my walk through with the landlord on Wednesday. I have no desire to go back. It’s like once the majority of your stuff is out all emotional ties to the place have been severed so why go back. It just seems silly. If only I could apply that to other parts of my life.

But tomorrow I’m off to patch nail holes, clean and fully vacate my home for the last year and a half. Now that I think about it I get a little nostalgic. Too tired to be sentimental right now.

It feels good to be in a new place.

Filed under: Single Serving

Apartment Dream Come True

God is really found in the details.

I found a blog post from January 29, 2005 about my dream apartment. I was unhappy with where I was living and wanted to move, but my roommate at the time didn’t want to.

All I was dreaming of was a place with washer/dryer hookups, open floor plan, vaulted ceilings and dual master suites.

The place we’re moving into in two days is all that and more. It has three master suites, 24′ vaulted ceilings, granite countertops, hardwood floors, and the all important washer-dryer hookups.

See Jesus does love me.

Filed under: Single Serving, Spiritual Formation, Things I love