Denny Lives

You know I still stay up nights wondering why Denny had to die.

I think most of us do. He was a man perfectly written. Granted, we only saw him when he was sick, vulnerable and open with his emotions. Who knows if he was an ass when healthy, but does it really matter? He will be missed next season.

But apparently his death served a purpose, to get his own Shonda Rhimes (creator of Grey’s Anatomy) show about journalists. We’ll see how it compares.

Filed under: Pop Culture

Grandma’s Art Show

I just found out that my grandma was featured in her local newspaper as one of the artists exhibiting at an annual summer art walk in Muncie, In.

I’m so proud of her. She is so talented (look at the picture) and has even won awards for some of her paintings. I wish I could be with her to celebrate her first show.

The great thing is that while everyone else will be serving the ultra traditional wine and cheese she is going to remain true to who she is and serve brownies and coffee. Throughout my childhood I could count on always having brownies at her house. It didn’t seem to matter when we showed up she was always had some. I wondered if there was a never-ending brownie pantry in her house. The only thing that would make it more her is if there was a pot of her homemade soup on the stove and a bottle of pepsi on the table.

Congratulations!! I love you.

Filed under: Mi Familia

No words

Today is my aunt’s viewing and tomorrow is her funeral. We found out that she died from complications of diabetes, most specifically renal failure. At only 58 she died very young, which appears to be a trend in my dad’s family. You’re lucky to make it beyond 60 or 65.

For various reasons I didn’t go back. It does feel odd to be away from my dad today. I did get a chance to talk to him this morning. I suppose he’s doing as well to be expected. You never know the right thing to say so I just tried to listen and remind him how much I love him. It’s so much easier to just be there in person, when a simple touch is often enough.

Sometimes presence is all that is required because there really isn’t anything to say that will make them feel better. I don’t think you’re supposed to be feel better at a time like this. You just want to know that you’re loved and that the people you care about most are close by. I’m glad I’ll get to see my dad next week.

Filed under: Mi Familia

Casanova [2005]

Ok, every time I see Heath Ledger now I think of Brokeback Mountain. But in this film he is the infamous lover of women, Casanova. It is a movie based on cheesy, non-sensical dialogue and mistaken identity.

It isn’t even really worth the rental. There is no chemistry whatsoever between Casanova (Ledger) and the woman that finally captures his heart, Francesca (Sienna Miller). The support characters bring a little levity to this long-winded, poorly written Shakespeareanesque comedy, but not enough to redeem it.

I think we got really bored and started making fun of it when Casanova’s great love advice to a young would-be suitor is to "be the flame not the moth." I think he forgot he was supposed to be a lover and instead slipped into Yoda mode.

Rebekah had a good observation, why is it than when a period piece is set in Italy all of the actors have English accents?

I would rent Dangerous Liaisons instead, it is a much better movie.

Filed under: Pop Culture

Long Weekend

I don’t have any big plans this weekend.

My friend Rebekah is coming down from San Jose to visit. Tonight we’re going to have some snacks and watch Casanova. The rest of the weekend is blissfully unplanned, although I do need to get some work done.

Aaahh!! Refreshing. It’s gonna be great.

Filed under: Friendshipping

Make it Stop

Isn’t it amazing how when you feel like your life is coming to a grinding halt that the rest of the world keeps on spinning.

I feel like I’m walking around in a haze of emotion and exhaustion. My body is still moving but my mind is still. I can’t focus. I can hardly breathe. Everything feels like it’s happening outside of myself right now, almost like it’s someone else. I can’t quite catch up to everything.

I want someone to stop with me, hold me and tell me that it’s going to be okay and that I’m not going crazy. Even though life feels crazy right now. Even though nothing really makes sense.

My psychological self says I need to self-soothe and learn to stand on my own, be strong, and resilient.

My spiritual self I need to just rely on God. He is the only one I need. If I could just trust more, be more dependent or pray more then that would be enough.

I guess the real truth is somewhere in the middle – me, God and people that love me. It’s just hard to go to work and pretend like everything is okay. It’s hard to come home to an empty house but not have the energy to be with people.

I know this too shall pass, but for right now, it sucks.

Filed under: Psychobabbling, Spiritual Formation

Strange Ending

My brother called me tonight to let me know that my aunt died. This is my father’s oldest sister and my godmother.

It was a sudden illness and death. We’re not even sure what happened, something to do with her heart. An autopsy is going to be performed this week. When I think autopsy I think cop show and foul play.

Our family is still reeling from grandpa’s death, I don’t even begin to know how to process this.

Please pray for my family as arrangements are made.

Filed under: Mi Familia

Hood in hand

I just got back from Pasadena with my graduation regalia in hand. WHI HOO!!

My hood colors are white, blue (theology) and goldenrod yellow (psychology).

Graduation is real and actually happening!! Althought I have to say graduation robes are ugly and made for men. They don’t take into account a woman’s natural curves AT ALL! And what’s with the hangy-down part on the sleeves? They look like uvulas attached to your arms. Bizarre.

I modeled it for a friend here in the office, it was fun to play dress up. Now I just have to figure out the right way to wear the hood. It is complicated, there are hooks and buttons on it with no apparent match or place to connect on the robe or to itself. I figure I’ll wait for day of and see what everyone else does.

While in the area I had lunch with a dear friend from my World Vision days. We don’t get to see each other that often but when we do we catch up quick and have great conversations. She is such a delight and what a treat to get to hang out with her, even if the time went by way to fast.

Filed under: Friendshipping, Learning

Classic Mexican Meal

We went to dinner tonight in the historic San Juan Capistrano at a local favorite, El Adobe. I’ve been meaning to check that place out for a while and since we had some staff in from out of town it was the perfect opportunity.

The restaurant is housed in a historical landmark building built in part in 1797. The interior was retrofit to match its picturesque mission surroundings in 2003. It looks like a classic hacienda in style. You feel like you’re walking back into the 18th century.

We were all excited to try traditional Mexican-American cuisine. The chips were great, the salsa was spicy and the guacamole is made fresh to order at your table. How much more authentic can you get than that? The albondiga soup was perfect. I was impressed, and I’m picky with my Mexican food.

Every one ordered different house specialties like Enchiladas Suizas, Carne Asada and Chile Colorado. We were anxiously waiting for our traditional food. The food arrives on classic Mexican pottery plates, all in festive colors. Mine was one of the last to arrive, I had the Chile Colorado, which is pork in a spicy red sauce. They deliver it to me and it is served in a stark white plate that says, O’Neills.

How hysterical is that?!! I was having a greenbean meal. I asked the waiter about it and he said the restaurant is owned by Richard O’Neill. So I don’t know if these are his signature dishes, literally, or if he owns an Irish Pub and decided to use some leftover plates.

Pushing the envelope I asked the waiter if at least the cooks are Mexican and he laughed and said no. LOL the chefs in the ultra-Latin restaurant, in a historic Mission town are not even Latin. How sad is that.

Still a great experience, we had a great time.

Filed under: Friendshipping

Baby Love

This is a girl post. For those boys that do read this blog you are probably just going to roll your eyes and assume I’m hormonal. But anyway…

This week is our biggest conference of the year at work. It’s when all the big wigs are out and about. Our core audience is on campus and all hands are on deck. It’s a great time to see people we only usually talk to on the phone and meet the people using our stuff.

Unfortunately this year, we’re in the middle of huge deadlines and other projects all due this week in the middle of the conference. So I work all day at the conference and then go home at night to finish up what I should have gotten done during the day. So, I’m pretty tired.

Well yesterday one of the girls from work was holding a baby. I know her kids are older so I asked whose it was. She said the baby belonged to one of the conference attendees. As I walked over to her to get a closer look the baby lunged from her arms to mine and just started to snuggle with me. Talk about instant love. It was great!!

There’s nothing like the love of a child. My shirt was drenched from where he drooled all over me, but it was worth it.

Later I learned from his mom that I resemble one of his aunts so he thought I was someone familiar. I didn’t care, I soaked up the love. There is just something about babies. I missed out on a lot when Mikey and Jordy were that age. I have some memories with Mikey but few with Jordy.

So this afternoon I called to get a Mikey and Jordy fix. Their mom had to convince them to talk to me, but it was worth it.

As I contemplate moving back to be close to them you’d think it was a no brainer, but I don’t know. I’m still torn.

Filed under: Mi Familia, Things I love, Working