Ride on the Escalator December 31, 2005

I went to the mall today to pick up a present for Brian’s mom, today is her birthday. (All late December birthdays I just heard you sigh in sympathy

I went up to the food court to grab something to drink and on my way back towards the escalator I saw a mom trying to get four kids (ranging in age from 2- and a giant two-kid stroller down. She had two choices, the stairs or the escalator. It appears the elevator had broken since she made it up.

Now I will admit that my first thought was how irritating it was that all those kids are blocking the escalator. As I approached I heard the kids say that they wanted to ride the escalator down. Now they each needed to hold a hand. So one mom = 2 hands, four kids = 4 hands needing to be held, clearly not gonna work.

I heard her responding and she was so tired. I can’t imagine being in the mall with four kids that age. Before I knew what was happening I heard something along the lines of - maybe this nice lady will help you down the escalator. In the next breath I had one of the kid’s hand in mine and off we were going down the escalator. It was the 5 year old. She squeezed my hand so tight and was so excited about riding the escalator.

We reached the bottom she looked up at me, gave me a million dollar smile and said, thank you.

What an unexpected joy! Who knew riding the escalator could be so fun.

2005 In Review December 31, 2005

2005 has been quite the year for relationships, education and travel.

Relationships:
Brian and I got back together in March. It was a surprise even to me. We were together for over a year, casually dated for nine months and now have been back together for nine months. Yikes lots of stuff happen in nine months for us - lol - luckily nothing growing but the relationship. We’ve had quite the roller coaster year - for a minute we were going to get engaged, for another minute we were planning a marriage and in another minute we were planning a move to Memphis, now we have no idea what we’re doing.

I divorced my long time roommate and close friend amicably. After five years Joanna and I separated. For the first time in my life I live on my own. I really do like it. It’s nice to come home and know that no one is there. I get to be social when I want to, which is good and bad.

I also need to be more deliberate about being social, making new friends and putting myself out there. I no longer have a built-in activity buddy. It’s been an adjustment. It might still be in orange county but north, where I used to live, is a different world from south, where I live now. I don’t think I will want to live down here forever, it just isn’t my scene. There isn’t enough diversity and believe it or not there are WAY too many chain restaurants and mega superstores. I want little hole in the wall restaurants and eclectic boutiques. I’ll be ready to move soon.

Travel:
I went to TN, a state I’ve never been to before this year, three times - once for work and twice with Brian. He and I have taken a record three trips together. One to Northern California, one to Memphis to take Kayla home and one cross country for him to meet my family. I think I’ve seen my family more this year than most in recent memory as well. We went to both Indiana and Ohio to see them. Either that or it was just that I saw them two months in a row - maybe that was it. I missed them at Christmas - severely.

I also took several trips with Joanna. We finally fulfilled our wish to go to Boston and we took a quick weekend retreat to Big Bear. So much fun.

Education:
After three long years, I’m done. I have finally completed my master’s degree. WHI-HOO!! What am I going to do with it? UH OH??!! That’s a worry for 2006.

Overall, there is much to be grateful for and I know I am truly blessed.

Alfie [2004] December 30, 2005

This movie is billed as a romantic comedy but I want to know what part of this film constitutes romantic and comedy.

It’s a remake of the 1966 british film starring Michael Caine as a womanizer who always keeps his options open and never stays too long. Think of Alfie as a Peter Pan wearing Prada and Gucci.

I thought this was going to be a light, funny, sweet movie about a womanizer who finds true love and changes his roguish ways. It’s kind of like that but his path to redemption is not filled with montages set to any love ballads.

It’s much more realistic than that. He manages to chase off or damage anyone who ever loves him. He’s waiting for some kind of perfection and realizes in the end that he is the most flawed of all.

Given Jude Law’s recent behavior he was more of a nature fit for this role than once thought. But he does capture the allure, yet desperation essential for Alfie.

I would recommend it if you’re in a melancoly mood. Otherwise beware.

Pirates of the Caribbean [2003] December 30, 2005

This seems to be my week to watch movies that most people saw ages ago.

Today it was Pirates of the Caribbean.

I was surprised to see that it was a mix of Princess Bride [1987] and Three Musketeers [1993] in tone and humor. It didn’t take itself too seriously or try to be more than it was - a fun, action-adventure love story between a man and his ship (or perhaps ego) and a girl and a forbidden boy.

It was fun to see the scenes from the ride come to life, right down to the "yo ho, yo ho, it’s a pirates life for me." They did it ways that were not ridiculous or even really the focus of the plot, but rather subtle nods to the origins of the story.

The special effects were amazing. My favorite scenes were those of the moonlight army marching under water. Fantastic.

I even liked Kiera Knightley in this movie. I know she is somewhat of the new "it" girl but she has this facial expression that drives me crazy. It is almost like an open-mouthed pout or perhaps pant that she does over and over in every role. It seems to be her facial expression of choice. It’s something akin to Ryan Phillipe’s lip purse.

I suppose I’m learning to branch out and take a chance on things I wouldn’t normally watch or do.

Retro Christmas Post December 30, 2005

I’ve been meaning to write this but kept forgeting.

After the Christmas Eve Candle light service Brian and I stopped at Rite Aid to buy some milk and wrapping paper. We ended up in line behind a dad with a cart full of presents. Talk about last minute, 11:30 p.m. on Christmas Eve. There was a surprising flood of emotions with this situation.

My first thought was those poor kids. Toys from Rite aid suck. The dolls are made of the weak plastic that bend when you touch it. The wheels will fall off the trucks, etc. I hope they’re too young to know the difference. I mean there are big imprinted price tags on the packages that say - 2 for $10. Not a sign of high quality.

My next thought was well maybe this is all he can afford, but he spent $160 at Rite Aid on dolls, trucks, cars and a tennis racket. Odd. Then we saw him get into his beamer, so maybe money wasn’t an issue.

Then it was sadness. We speculated that he was a newly divorced father. He still had his wedding ring on, but clearly there was no wife at his house. Otherwise the presents would have been purchased long ago and not from Rite Aid. So chances are he only gets the kids in the afternoon, no one is at home waiting on those presents, yet.

The cashier was trying to figure out what was going on too. She kept asking questions but he was pretty tight lipped and didn’t say a whole lot.

I hope he had a great Christmas with whomever those presents were for.

Junk Drawer December 29, 2005

I took down my Christmas decorations today and I put all the extra bits (batteries, tape, scissors, etc.) in the kitchen junk drawer. I think every one has one of those.

It is the receptical for all the stuff that doesn’t have any other home. Mine is jam packed full of warranties, candlelighters, coupons, an old cell phone, a hammer, nails and all the materials I just shoved in there.

It got me thinking, I know I hear the comments - yes it’s a scary thing. I realized that since I finished grad school I’ve been in a state of reflection and in all honestly dealing with all the stuff in my mental junk drawer. Since I’m being honest I can say that in some regards I went to grad school because I didn’t know what I wanted to do, I wasn’t sure where I could go. I was stalling.

Now that I’m done all of the unanswered questions, pent-up emotions and other assorted issues I had before I started are still waiting for me. I even shoved a bunch of stuff in there as I went along. Stuff I didn’t have time to deal with it, didn’t want to face it or wasn’t sure what I wanted - yep still in there.

I have done precious little this last week and many of the things that have stayed quiet are now busting out. The drawer won’t close anymore and I have to deal with it head on. I don’t have a choice.

Sucks. Good. But Sucks.

My Date With Drew [2005] December 28, 2005

One average man’s quest to get a date with his childhood crush, Drew Barrymore in 30 days.

Brian takes $1,100 winnings from a game show to finance his dream. He puts his life on hold and with the help of a few friends he risks it all.

Now this isn’t quite as crazy as it might seem. He isn’t from Iowa, he lives in Los Angeles, is in the entertainment industry and he uses a six degress of separation approach to meeting her.

My first thought was dude get a job. You’re 27 years old, stop being so ridiculous. It felt like I was watching the nerd try and get the popular girl. He is very cute, we watch him prepare, search, call, make fake IDs and in the end get the girl, sort of.

I watched the first half of the movie with a complete skeptical eye. Then I realized that, in part, this is his final fling before he has to get a job and join the real world. He was a dreamer and believed in himself. What a concept, following your heart’s desire. I wonder if I’d ever have the courage to do that. I’m way too responsible. Do I even remember what they are?

By the end I was pulling for him and was so excited it all worked out. It’s awesome.

It also makes me love Drew even more. She is very cute.

The Winter Guest [1997] December 27, 2005

There is no real beginning, middle or end to this movie.

I was sucked in by the idea of the story - a mourning widow, temultuous relationship with her mother, women who attend the funerals of strangers, etc. But unfortunately there is little plot that brings them together or make it worth watching.

The movie starts somewhere in the middle of some aspect of the story. I almost felt like a voyeur in the character’s lives, yet I have no reason to care about them and have no idea what they’re talking about. You come to realize the story is about eight people living in a remote Scottish fishing village. We visit them on the coldest day in history - even the sea has frozen over.

It stars Emma Thompson, and her real life mother Phyllida Law. They play a mother, Elspeth and daughter, Frances with a close yet feuding relationship. Frances’ husband died at some point and she can’t get over him and is thinking of moving to Australia to escape the memories. Her mother is afraid she’ll leave her.

Frances’ son, Alex approaches his first sexual experience with neighbor girl Nita. Two random older women, Chloe and Lily are two old women who like to attend strangers’ funerals and Tom with Sam are two schoolboys who skip school to play on the beach and talk.

But ultimately we have no reason for being part of their lives. Nothing really happens. The summary I’ve given you ultimately is the movie. There are no surprises. There is little movement. There is relatively little sound via environmental noises or music. Even the characters have minimal dialogue. I think if they knew we were there they’d turn to us and tell us to find something better to do.

I’m sure there is some existential meaning found in the silence of the frozen sea, but in 1 hour and 50 minutes I would hope that they’d tell us what it is and what is The WInter Guest.

The film itself is Alan Rickman’s directorial debut and the cinematography is beautiful. It is based on a play, and I can only hope it was better.

DNA of Relationships December 27, 2005

This is a great book! It’s a simple approach to all relationships. The first step is realizing the role we all play in our emotional health and happiness. We can’t change others only ourselves.

I heard Gary Smalley talk about this book in a devotional. It made me run out and buy it. He talks about how to establish and honor boundaries in relationships, as we strive to create safe places that encourage intimacy, acceptance and a sense of belonging.

It says that the only real change that can take place must take place in yourself first. you can’t change anyone else. You start with yourself and you’ll be amazed at what happens. It certainly takes the frustration out of a lot of relationships when you stop worrying about how another person will react or not react according to your wishes. Amazing how self-centered we really are.

It calls you to identity your core fears so that you can begin to recognize why your buttons are pushed so that you can start your own change process. I recommend it.

Reciprocating Self December 27, 2005

I’m finally getting around to posting my reviews of books I’ve read. I have new books to add but I told myself I wouldn’t add the new until I’d written up the old. So here we go.

The Reciprocating Self offers a developmental teleology centered not in theology but in the trinity. It is a fascinating look at the self as it moves through life and gives a glimpse of how we are to operate. It provides a solid basis for its theory by addressing other popular treatises of this topic that reinforce it’s idea. It also explores why psychology is inadequate for addressing the developing self.

As humans we were created in the Imago Dei. The perfect view of how we were intended to live in relationships with God and others. This is mirrored in the Trinity as God is a relational being. So by studying development as a reciprocating self we can reflect on God in relationship.

How does the Trinity provide this perfect developmental lens? Read on.