Someone will die, it might be me July 22, 2008

Ok, I’ve realized that the biggest downside to parenting is the monotony. Your life is pretty much the same week in and week out - down to the arguments. I could script out the daily battles I have with my nephews - the first is over what kind of cereal to eat, the second is who will go first in the shower, then who is touching who in the car and another favorite is who controls the tv. Everyday. It’s the same. There isn’t a day that goes by that they don’t fight about these things - and more.

Today we entered a new level of arguing, fighting, irritation, fear and ridiculousness.

On the way home from swim class they were fighting over who was touching who and I had enough. I declared a “no talking” zone. So they decided to make noise with everything else in the car - door locks, window buttons and kicking the back of the chair. No amount of talking, reasoning or yelling would get them to settle down or more importantly SHUT UP.

Well in Jordy’s attempt to make noise with the door handle he actually opened the door. That’s right, going down the freeway at 65 mph Jordy opened the car door. I could feel the wind coming into the car.

My heart sank but it didn’t even phase him. He actually thought it was funny. So did his brother. I wanted to pull over the car and beat him senseless. He didn’t get how dangerous this was. I will admit there was severe yelling in the car.

Once we got home, they resumed their usual fight about who was going to shower first - even though I set up a schedule and it is clearly marked on the freakin’ calendar.

Now it’s the lunch battle. Who has more and who can eat the fastest are the flavor of the day. But then they really start to get into it. Someone is again touching someone else and it escalates to Mikey spitting a mouth full of food into Jordy’s hair and Jordy dumping juice all over Mikey.

I don’t even know what to do. They aren’t my kids. They don’t listen to me. So they had to eat in separate areas and then they spent about 40 minutes alone in their rooms. I just needed a break. I needed silence. I needed a valium and a drink.

I think anyone who is under the delusion that they want children should spend two weeks with actual children. It’s the warm fuzzy desire to give love and nurture that next generation that causes rational people to procreate. Because children will suck every last piece of life from your body. They will remove your ability to speak intelligently and you’re reduced to stuttering and general confusion. They will drive you to want to bang your head on the wall repeatedly until you are rendered unconscious.

I love my nephews. I really do. But I liked it better when I was just the fun aunt who swooped in with presents and a good time. I’m tired. I am bone weary tired and I need a break from them. I never thought I would say that, but I do.

Passing the Torch July 21, 2008

I take my role as aunt very seriously. I firmly believe that it is my responsibility and duty to make sure they are educated well on all things of life.

So last Friday I decided that since Mikey is 10, it is time for him to see Princess Bride. His father was 10 when it was realized in theatres so it has come full circle.

So we sat down as a family and watched it. He liked it, I think.

His favorite part was, “Hello My Name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die.”

Jordy lasted about five minutes. He wandered off somewhere to do something.

Updating my Wineskins July 14, 2008

Last week in church we talked about the importance of becoming new wineskins. Then I heard a conference session from Marcos Witt on how to prevent staleness in our lives as we create situations and circumstances (wineskins) to grow and change.

Now I’ve heard the wineskin parable a million times but never really applied it to my life in this way. So, honestly what does that mean? What is a wineskin? I’ve been wine tasting enough to see wine in barrells but never in a skin of anysort. So the idea of not putting new wine in an old wineskin doesn’t really resonate with me.

As I grapple with this I’d i’ve realize that the idea of a wineskin is about constructs, skemas, ideas, traditions, religion, perhaps even a location, church, friends, or other relationship. We get new wine as we begin to change. It is a fresh understanding, healing, wholeness that comes as we grow and learn. This new information doesn’t fit into the existing structures we’ve created in our minds and hearts.

For me living in California was a wineskin. It was familiar, safe, comfortable and to some extent easy. There was a routine and rhythm to my life that was good, it worked. Yet I could float through life a bit. I wasn’t really challenged. I was only pushed when I allowed it. I was well-defined there. I had a job, a role to play, friends, and history.

Now here I have no context for anything, including me. Everything here is so different - how they talk, the foods they eat, even how they drive. Aaahh, so our wineskins are part of our identity, they define our worlds. It’s the structure on which we hang other information.

Yet in our comfort we can become legalistic, ritualistic and too tied to tradition. I had a very well defined way that I lived and related to others. I met everyone with a filter sarcasm and cynicism including God. To stay fresh in our lives we need to let ourselves be stretched, pulled out of our comfort zones to force us to engage in a new way, with a new perspective. Ooh I’d say that is where I am living these days.

To become new wineskins is to stay close to the heart of God, Witt says, because He changes his methods to capture our hearts. While his nature is unchanging Christ shed his divinity to be human so we could be restored (Phil 2). So how he relates to us changes on how he needs to get our attention. Being in a rut and tied to our existing way of doing things will render us ineffective in reaching out to others in service, in being flexible to learn and I would think in applying grace to ourselves and others.

In the end, the freshness of our wineskins is tied to our sense of wonder. Are we able to worship God with wonder and innocence of a child. Are we intrigued by the small things or are we bitter and cynical? I can confess am cynical. I grew stale. I doubted everything and could see the negative in everything. I constantly waited for the other shoe. Some of this was for survival. Some of this is from experience. Some of this is out of fear. I have to learn to trust God enough to let the wonder back into my life. I have to learn how to let go and let things be unplanned and out of my control. That is the biggest fallacy. We are never in control of anything and its our desperate grasp to try and control it that ends up in frustration and resentment because its impossible.

So life is really all about how we deal with change. Do we become stale in our existance, floating through life letting it go by as we stay safe in our same ole, same ole? Or do we let ourselves become agents of change as we become more authentic, transparents and pliable for whatever it is that God wants to do through us.

That is where I am? I still have parts of my heart that need to be broken. I still need to be molded, changed. There are still parts of me that are unconverted. I am saved, which happens in an instant but conversion take a life time. I struggle with unbelief sometimes. There are aspects of becoming Christlike that I rebel against and just don’t like. I was talking with a friend a while back and we were talking about discipleship and how hard it was to let go of some of our “flesh.” Discipleship is painful.

Anyway, I digress. I am just thinking outloud here. I am still struggling with life here. I know for a fact that I needed to move. But I thought that once I did some magical, mystical path would open before and I would suggently realize what I wanted to be when I grew up. Instead I’m in Ohio, still lost, completely outside of my comfort zone and freaked out.

I wonder what’s wrong with me? Why haven’t I found this yellow, brick road? It doesn’t stick with me that all God cares about is the relationship. He just wants me to be close. I don’t know how to do that. I don’t know how to trust him. I have trouble reckoning in my brain that freaked out and still lost is exactly where he wants me right now. That’s when I lean into him.

This seems to be a lesson I’m not getting because everytime I take a step I wait for the a-ha moment where it all makes sense. Maybe my a-ha moment won’t come for a while or ever. Not sure. But the goal has to be the same - an intimate relationship with God. I don’t do vulnerable very well. I have touble letting people in, even an omniscient, all-powerful God. I guess that’s the wineskin that needs most updating.

Is this parenting? July 10, 2008

I am on week four of my summer nanny duties with my nephews. I think the novelty and loveliness of it all has officially worn off.

My nephews tried every last nerve today. They were bored, tired, irritated and irritating. They were sitting too close, too far away, touching too much and breathing too much of the same air - all at once. At one point on the ride home from swimming lessons I actually flung my arm in the backseat to see what I could grab to get their attention so they would shut up. I think I got a leg, which of course started a new round of arguing of whose leg I should squeeze but each was convinced his brother was really the culprit.

Jordy is pretty easy to take care of. He’s hyper, but at 7 he just wants you to spend time with him. Mikey, at 10, is adopting to his pre-teen ways a little early. He has all the answers. You can’t tell him anything and he doesn’t listen AT ALL. There are moments of fun, sanity and cuteness with him but they are getting fewer and further between the moments where I just want smack him.

The hard part about all of this is that I have no authority. My brother is still in the house, albeit sleeping, so they want to run in there everytime they disagree with me. Today Mikey actually called his mother at work because he wanted his own way. The sad part is, his mom gave into him. UGH!

It has never been established that I’m actually in control and they actually have to listen to me. I’ve tried to bring this up to my brother but he doesn’t get it. He just says I’m getting a taste of parenting. So I wind up just feeling like a glorified maid to make sure that they’re getting fed and don’t hurt themselves. If this is parenting let me stock up now on condoms and the pill. At least with my own kids I get to set the rules.

Tomorrow is a new day. My hope and prayer is that then there will be more moments of cuteness than moments where I want to roll under a moving vehicle out of frustration.

Stuff Christians Like July 8, 2008

If you grew up anywhere near or in a Christian church you really must add the blog Stuff Christians Like to your daily reading. It is comedy therapy. In the past week alone it has rated the myriad of christian festival names on a scale of holiness, given a quiz to judge if its a John Mayer lyric or a verse from the message version of the bible and compared christian conferences to prom. How can you not love that. I have to say my father, the pastor and I a seminary graduated missed 5 of the 15 on the John Mayer quiz.

Stan Hywet Hall July 3, 2008

Stan Hywet, originally uploaded by greenbeangirl74.

Today Mikey and I braved the rain for our final adventure of the week and headed north to Akron to visit Stan Hywet Hall. We had a blast inspite of the weather.

The estate built in 1914 for the Sieberling family, founders of Goodyear Tire and Rubber. It has a grand entrance with a large lane and massive meadows. It was landscaped to be like an English country estate. At the entrance there is also a treehouse, as part of a Great Garden Adventure added for the kids. I stopped at the treehouse and said, “OK Mikey we’re here, get out.” He looked at the treehouse, looked at me and said, “You drug me all the way here for this? Seriously.” I had to laugh. It was awesome. Once he saw the real house, the grounds and the conservatory he was excited and forgave me for “dragging him” all the way (20 minutes) to Akron.

We had so much fun trapsing through the gardens in the rain. There are great walking trails, allees, vistas and history in this estate. It is worth a visit if you’re ever in merry ole Akron.

Visiting the Akron Zoo July 2, 2008

Mikey and Pops as Penguins, originally uploaded by greenbeangirl74.

The adventure for today was the Akron Zoo.

Mikey, my dad and I went up to Akron for a special exhibit on Jellyfish. I took Jordy last week while Mikey was at camp, so I have to take Mikey this week while Jordy is at camp. Apparently that is how it works. So off we went.

The Akron Zoo is an ok zoo, as far as I can tell. I am by no means a zoo expert. I think I’ve only been to three: Disney’s Wild Animal Kingdom, the Cinncinati Zoo (when I was 10) and now the Akron Zoo. An animal lover I am not.

The zoo isn’t that big and there isn’t a huge variety of animals, but its something to do. It is clean. The zookeepers are friendly and knowledgeable. We saw a lion, tiger, lemur, penguins, bats, red panda, birds, etc. It was good.

Mikey’s favorite animals were the bats. He also enjoyed learning that the lemurs have reddish poop.

I think for me I enjoyed watching Mikey be a kid. He was so giddy with the animals, so was my dad really. Amazing how animals are an equalizer. It was sad for me to see the wounded Eagles. There were two at the zoo by special permit. They only have one wing. Maybe these wounded symbols of our nation are a metaphor for our current state. You never know.

It was a good day.

Trip to Glamorgan Castle July 1, 2008

Glamorgan Castle, originally uploaded by greenbeangirl74.

While Jordy is at camp this week Mikey and I will go forth to have some adventures of our own. On the itinerary today is a trip to Glamorgan Castle in Alliance, OH.

50 acres of land was purchased by Col. William Henry Morgan, owner of Morgan Engineering Co. He hired architect Willard Hirsh to draw up plans for his castle. He even sent him to Europe to study, so it would be authentic. However, the family did have an indoor swimming pool, bowling alley and billiard room.

It was named Glamorgan Castle after his father’s birthplace in Wale. Construction began in 1904. The family moved in in 1907. It wasn’t done until 1909 and cost $400,000. After Col. Morgan’s death his widow sold all the land and house for oly $25,000.

After changing hands several times the castle is now home to the Alliance City School District. Armed with a $700,000+ restoration grant they have made the castle their offices.

However you can still see the splendor, craftmanship and detail in the castle. The receving room, dining room, solarium and entry way all contain period furniture and look as it did when the family lived there. I wish they would have left one of the bedrooms dressed. There are many rooms closed off - like the swimming pool and bowling alley.

Still worth a visit. If nothing else to help preserve a piece of history. During our self-guided tour we were free to wander around the entire castle, all three floors. It was fun. In the servants quarters on the 3rd floor and in the basement Mikey freaked himself out convinced that there were ghosts.

Self-guided tours are offered Mon-Friday after 2 p.m. for $2 for adults and $1 for children. 200 Glamorgan St., Alliance, OH.

Nanny Marti June 25, 2008

Since my brother, father and five other pastors left their church they’ve all had to go out and find other employment. Many of them are taking a break from the ministry to see where God leads.

My brother took a job at the post office. Since his wife works first shift he opted for third so that someone would be home with the kiddos at all times. But since its summer and they’re home all day I come over during the day to help take care of them - mainly just to make sure no one burns anything down.

Since they’re 7 and 10 they entertain themselves. I work a couple of hours on my freelance projects and we spend the rest of the time playing Wii, PS2, beach baseball in the backyard, cards, and board games.

Mikey is at camp this week. His first time away from home and he still went even though his friends bailed at the last minute. He didn’t know anyone that was going to be there. I’m so proud of him for sticking it out. I would have cancelled. But he’s a braver soul than I.

So Jordy and I are doing lots of fun things together. Yesterday we went to the zoo. He was hilarious. We call him our shiny boy since everything shiny attracts his attention. He was bouncing all over the place. He wore me out. But we saw lemurs, penguins, tigers, lions, bats, jellyfish and bears. He was most fascinated by the disco ball at the entrance to the jellyfish. He stood there for 10 minutes just twirling around. It was funny. We were both exhausted at the end of the day.

Finally, some purpose as to why I’m in Ohio. I get six hours of uninterrupted time with my nephews. What’s not to love? They are deliciously exhausting. I just love to talk to them. You never know what they’re going to say. Sometimes I’m surprised by what comes out of their mouth. It can be rather profound and observant.

Today I’m going to get them signed up for swim lessons and then Jordy and I are off to rent a new game for the Wii. It will probably be Guitar Hero.

The Trinity loves sports June 20, 2008

In the past week my nephews have spent countless hours playing their new Wii. But the part Mikey has loved most is setting up his Mii’s. He has created a village of people to play including God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Slightly sacreligious but quite funny. Jesus plays great baseball. God like bowling and the Holy Spirit is a humdinger in tennis. Who knew.